Give Us Life Again
by HiddenKoala
Summary: Set in NM. "I had always known that peace would never find me. I could never get out of this... My body had gotten a whole lot heavier. I drew a deep breath and without even realizing it, I sank into the darkness of the unknown." A few POVs, First FF!
1. Within reach

**Hi! So, this is my story. My first story, I might add. I'm so nervous. What if it sucks? OK, enough with the bad confidence. Here it is, I hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Stephenie Meyer, Twilight does. Oh no. Something just went terribly wrong. (I'm having so much fun, but you understand, right? Please?)**

BPOV

I opened the bathroom cabinet and looked around. I easily found what I had been looking for; sleeping pills. I took down the small bottle and looked at the prescription. It had my name on it and was signed by Dr Gerandy. The instructions said that you should take one pill before you go to sleep.

After about a week of nightmares Charlie had had enough. He had made me go to the doctor to get something that would help me sleep. I knew from the start that the pills wouldn't help me sleep, and certainly not stop my nightmares from waking me up screaming every night. But I pretended for Charlie, taking one pill before bed every night for three nights in a row.

After jerking straight up in bed the third night, screaming, Charlie agreed to let me off the pills. He had been sure they would bring me some peace, some calm. For a while after that, he walked around with a defeated, suffering expression, which I couldn't understand for the longest time. That was until I saw him in the kitchen, holding the small bottle of pills and sighing, and then putting the bottle on the counter and walking out to his cruiser, hands shaking slightly.

I, of course, had always known that peace would never find me. I could never get out of this, and I knew it.

That's what had brought me to the bottle of sleeping pills this day. Charlie had been long gone; his cruiser had been missing from the driveway when I had woken up, several hours ago. Now it was about 2 a.m., and all I'd managed to do was to sit on my bed, for once letting small fragments of the thoughts I usually blocked to slip through my mind, letting me sense the love and longing I held for my lost family. By then, my plan had already begun to form in my head: I had to make it stop. I knew I wasn't getting any better, no matter how much I pretended.

He said it would be as if he never existed. He had promised. It was obvious that was a promise that was broken as soon as it was said. And I, in return, had promised that I wouldn't harm myself. I had made it so far. But now I'd gotten to the point where I couldn't take it anymore. During the months since they left, I had lived. But I hadn't been alive. You can't take away someone's reason to live and expect them to be fine. To just continue to drag out their misery without a reason to exist.

So, I had made my choice. I would die. I would willingly kill myself, because I could no longer stand this torture, to not even be able to think freely without being hurt to the point where I could barely breathe.

I hadn't put a lot of thought into this, but I didn't feel a need to. My only problems were Charlie and Jacob. I reasoned that Charlie had been able to live without me for so long; he could go back to that life, live in quiet solitude.

And Jacob. I had noticed that he had other feelings for me than I had for him. He liked me, a lot, possibly even loved me. But he didn't deserve this. I was only a broken shell of the person I used to be. He deserved someone who could love him back, as much as he loved that person. I knew I would never be able to love anyone else other than... than Edward. I flinched when I thought his name. I would never have to flinch at the thought, or sound, of his name ever again.

Encouraged by that thought, I squeezed the pill bottle in my hand and walked determinately out of the bathroom and into my room. I locked my door behind me, pressing down the handle just to see if it was securely locked. I then slowly walked to my bed and sat down on the edge of it. _So, this was it,_ I thought calmly.

I took one last look at my room. I looked at my wardrobe. I turned my head to my desk, where I kept my books, and the rocking chair in which I had been rocked when I was a baby. In which Edward had sat. In which he had been waiting for me to wake up that first night. I quickly turned my head to the window. The sky outside was dark and cloudy, as always. I felt I was going to miss the weather, no matter how horrible it had been. I kept staring at my window, thinking of all the times that Edward had climbed through it. I felt the hole in my chest start to throb at the edges and quickly changed the course of my thoughts.

I opened the cap of the pill bottle and poured all the pills into my palm. There were a lot. I let the empty bottle roll out of my hand and onto the floor. It stopped against a leg of my desk. With a shaking hand I reached for the glass of water placed on my nightstand.

_Come on, stop being such a wuss,_ I told myself, and steadied my grip of the glass. I looked at the pills in my hand. There was no way I would be able to swallow all of these at once. Instead, I turned slightly and poured the pills on my bed so it would be easier for me to pick them up a few at the time. I took three of the pills and placed them in my mouth, took a few sips of water and swallowed.

_That wasn't so hard,_ I thought, encouraged, and put some more pills in my mouth and swallowed. With a feeling of success I took a handful of the pills and swallowed them in turns. I looked down at the pile of the remaining pills and felt a weird feeling of pride. There were only a few pills left. Surely the amount of pills I had swallowed would be enough, I thought, ignoring the rest of the pills. I put the glass back on the nightstand and brushed the remaining pills off my bed and onto the floor.

I sat on the bed with a tingling feeling spreading in my stomach. I thought that it was the pills that started to do their work, mixed with my feeling of unexplainable excitement. I felt uncomfortable sitting, so I lay down on my bed, staring up at the ceiling. I intertwined my fingers and placed my hands on my stomach. I had no idea how long it would take before the pills started to kick in, so I just lay there, waiting.

After a while I noticed a change. My body had gotten a whole lot heavier. I tried to move my arms and legs but they were way too heavy. This scared me a little, not being able to move, but a second later I decided that it didn't matter. I would be gone soon enough, what would some paralysis before I died mean? I also noticed that my breathing was getting heavier, I had to struggle a little to breathe. After some more waiting, my eyes started to get droopy, and when they finally slid close, I was thankful. I was getting away from the pain. I was finally going to be free. And if heaven held its promise, peace and happiness was awaiting. I drew a deep breath and without even realizing it, I sank into the darkness of the unknown.

**That was it! How was it? Good? Bad? Tasty? **

**Anyways, would love some feedback, since I'm not sure how good I am at writing in English (I'm from Sweden), so, if you have a minute to spare, make me happy. Or sad, I don't know what your feedback will contain. Enough with the crazy rambling, have a great life and you will hear from me when I publish the next chapter. If you want to read it. Gosh, I really have to stop. Bye!**

**~Anna **


	2. Tumble down

**So, the second chapter is already up! But I must warn you, I won't be able to update this frequently all the time, I need time to write the chapters! And correct them. And force my friend to read them through. No, I don't have to force her, she just has a life, i.e. she doesn't live on her computer. Anyway, this chapter is from Jacobs POV, I hope you like it! Gosh, I'm nervous again. I really shouldn't be, I mean, I even like this chapter. Enough with the crazy rambling, here's the chapter, enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. But I do own the two tired kitties who are now asleep on my bed. And I do own my ticket to HP and the half-blood prince, which I will watch tomorrow** ***thumbs up***

JPOV

I was laying across the couch at my house, trying to relax after a long day. I'd been spending the day in the forest around La Push with my brothers trying, and, I realized with a sense of disappointment, failing yet again in our attempt to catch the red-haired leech. _Victoria_, Bella had called her. My face changed to a look of disgust. I thought it was both ridiculous and surprising that the bloodsucker had a name. Having a name was so human, yet she was as far from human as you could get.

She had proven to be very hard to catch, leaving the pack worried. A few people had already been killed by her and the fact that we now knew that Bella was her target, and had been her target all along, didn't exactly make any of us relax.

Sam had made us patrol the area surrounding La Push and Forks more frequently after she almost made it past our perimeter. She had gotten too close, but seemed to be hesitant. Instead of charging past us and having the possibility to reach Bella, she turned around and ran away - it didn't make sense to any of us. Since then we'd all been on almost constant guard duty. That meant that the few opportunities we were free, we usually went home and all but passed out in our beds from exhaustion.

Today there would be a difference in that pattern for me. Instead of sleeping so heavily that I'd be on the verge of unconsciousness, I was thinking and thinking hard. For some reason I felt uneasy. Today Victoria had been close, we had chased her and almost caught up with her when she slid out of our grasp, once again.

This particular time had made me anxious. It was something in the way she ran from us, like this was a game to her and she easily could end it when she felt like it. This... anxiety was what was keeping me from my valuable sleep. After a few minutes of having the same train of thoughts I understood that there was no way that I could sleep. I needed to talk to someone, to get these thoughts of my head.

I got up from the couch and swiftly walked out the door. I made my way over to the garage and slid into my Rabbit. As I started the engine I suddenly knew the perfect person to talk too. _Bella_. My heart seemed to expand as I thought her name and I smiled to myself.

I sighed happily as I drove through the streets of La Push. She had told me that she needed me. What she didn't seem to realize was that I needed her too, more than she could imagine. Other girls faded away next to her, she was the only one for me. Sadly she didn't seem to feel that way for me. Yet. I was positive that she would change her mind, all I needed was some time. I took a deep breath to shake away the unwelcome thoughts as I pulled up the driveway at Bella's house.

I got out of my car and quickly walked up to the front door and rang the bell. No-one answered. I rang it again, and still didn't get an answer. This didn't bother me much. I had learned that Bella very rarely went anywhere besides her house and my house, and since her Chevy was in the driveway, I didn't doubt that she was home. She was probably showering or something.

I reached to feel the doorknob. The door slid open easily: It hadn't been locked. This, on the other hand, did worry me. I stood for a moment in the hallway, unsure of what to do.

"Hello?" I called tentatively, "Bella?"

Still no answer. I quickly scanned the first floor to see if Bella was there. After asserting that she wasn't, I turned to the stairs, worry and fear making my hands shake. A bunch of 'What if's appeared in my head without my permission.

What if she was sick? What if she was hurt? And the most pressing and frightening thought of them all: What if Victoria had gotten past us somehow? What if she had been killed already? I raced up the stairs, aiming for her room. As I reached it I pressed the handle down. It was locked.

"Bella? Bella, are you in there?" I called through the locked door.

I waited for some response, and when I didn't get one I did the only thing that seemed rational: I smashed her door in.

As I stumbled to a halt I got my first look at the room. Waves of relief washed through my whole body as I saw her, laying on her bed, visibly asleep. Then I froze. As I focused on her I noticed the details. She was much, much paler than usual. And that counted for something, with her being very pale to begin with. She was laying in an unnatural position, with her hands intertwined carefully on her stomach. No-one was able to sleep in that position, at least not comfortably.

At that thought my shock was increased, if that were possible. _Sleep_. Few people would be able to sleep through the persistent ringing of a doorbell, and not a single person would be able to sleep through a door being smashed in a couple of feet away from you. This was wrong. This was verywrong.

With an effort, I broke my rigid pose and walked over to her. I stood over her and grabbed her arm with one hand and touched her cheek with the other. She was cold, I realized with despair.

My hands started to flutter, unsure what to do. I touched her forehead to try to feel her temperature, to my surprise it wasn't as cold as her arm had been. This gave me hope and I started to mumble, almost hum, to both myself and Bella, while I started to check her vital signs.

"No, don't you leave me, please don't, please, no, you can't, no..."

She had a faint, irregular pulse and I wasn't going to let that go, so I started CPR. Thank God someone had decided that the kids at the preserve should learn CPR. I started to give her mouth-to-mouth, watching her chest rise and fall, again and again.

How many times had I imagined touching her lips with my own... But this was as far away from my imaginations that you could get, this was... impossible. Unintelligible. I started doing compressions, when it struck me that I needed help. Unwilling to leave her, I started to shout as loud as I could.

"HELP! SOMEONE HELP ME!"

Unless someone on the street heard me I was hoping that one of my brothers would hear me in the forest behind Bella's house.

"Help me," I repeated to myself.

What was I going to do? I didn't have a choice anymore, I had to get the phone from downstairs so I could call for help. With one last thump from her heart when my hands left her chest, I ran down the stairs, grabbed the phone from the kitchen counter and ran back up again. It couldn't have taken more than five seconds.

I quickly dialed the number to the emergency services and stuck the phone against my shoulder and my ear so I could continue with the CPR.

After a few rings a female voice answered.

"What's your emergency?" she asked.

I almost shouted into the phone from relief and stress.

"A girl here is really sick or something, she doesn't have a pulse. I-I don't know what happened to her... I found her this way..." My voice trailed off but the short silence was immediately filled by the woman on the phone.

"What's the address?"

I gave it to her.

"An ambulance will be there shortly, hang on."

I then straightened my neck, making the phone fall to the floor and concentrated on keeping Bella alive. I started to mumble again, just to fill the silence and distract me from realizing that it was Bella who lay before me.

"Help is coming, don't give up, you'll make it, you'll make it, don't worry, you'll be fine..."

After what seemed like forever I heard sirens outside. Suddenly I heard people rushing up the stairs and walking into the room in which I was seated. One of them lead me away from Bella, making it possible for others to take care of her. The person who had led me away said words I didn't hear and then left me to go fend for Bella.

I kept my eyes on Bella as much as I could and stretched my fingers out absentmindedly. They had gone stiff from being cramped up in the same position all the time. I had now been pushed away and stood pressed against Bella's wardrobe to make room for all the doctors and their equipment. They had brought in a stretcher on which they now were strapping Bella onto and with that they got ready to carry her down the stairs. I let them pass me, always keeping my eyes on Bella. She was being gently carried down the stairs but I remained in her room, lingering.

How could this have happened? What was wrong with her? I couldn't believe what had just happened, I refused to. I swooped my eyes across her room one last time before I left. I was just about to turn around and walk out to the hallway when something caught my eye - a little bottle of some sort. I bent down to pick it up, fear suddenly gripping my chest. I had recognized the empty bottle, it was for storing medicine.

Still in denial I slowly turned the bottle over in my hand and read the text. _Sleeping pills._ A shudder made my body tremor and I felt as if all the blood in my head was rushing to the floor. I had to grip the desk to remain standing, the realization now hitting me head on, along with this new fear. Bella had wanted to die. She might die. She might _die_... The thoughts got stuck in my head, unwilling to let them continue. I opened my fist where I still held the bottle and looked at it. I drew a breath and when I tried to exhale the breath caught in my throat. I groaned silently. "Bella... What have you _done_?"

**There it was! What did you think? Tell me tell me tell me! Well, you don't have to, but it would make me happy! Now I'm going to go watch an old Hitchcock movie that's on, my Mom says it's good :D **

**I hope you liked it, and I will see you next time I post a chapter, remember: Next chapter will take a few days! Hang on! I know you can! Seriously, I'm gonna go. I hope you're all well, adíos!**


	3. Nothing compared to this

**I think that you all hate my ridiculously long A/Ns, so I'll make this one short. Alice's and Edward's POVs here, enjoy them. **

**Disclaimer: Roses are red**

**Violets are blue**

**I don't own Twilight**

**And neither do you**

**...unless you're Stephenie Meyer. **

APOV

"Whoa! Did you see that? I don't blame you if you didn't, it went _really _fast," Emmett shouted. "Emmett – one, Alice- nothing," he said smugly.

Emmett and I were in the forest a short distance from the house we were currently staying in. Emmett was under the impression that we were playing a game, 'the one who kills a deer first wins'. Though he seemed oblivious to the fact that he was the only one playing. I walked over to him, looking defeated to make him happy.

"Congrats, you won. This time," I added with a sly smile. "But don't worry, next time I'll win. I promise," I said and winked, while gently hitting the side of my head with my index finger. I turned around, still smiling, beckoning him to follow me. He quickly caught up with me with a slightly disgruntled face. We started to walk slowly towards the house.

"Oh, ha, ha. I keep saying it's unfair with those gifts. You know to much, you and Edward." At his last word we both felt silent, awkward.

Lately, Edward had... changed. He wasn't even half of what he used to be. Nowadays he wouldn't talk to us, or play or hunt. Or _be_ with us, for that matter. He left us for long periods of times, just wandering alone somewhere. Those few occasions he actually was with us wasn't much better. For some reason he didn't like to spend time with us anymore. Instead he kept to himself, either sitting alone, staring into some wall, or wandering aimlessly in the surrounding forest. It hurt us, the rest of the family to know that there were nothing we could do to help.

We all sensed his misery, Jasper more than any of us. Jasper could hardly stay in the same room as him, and Edward refused our attempts to cheer him up. In the beginning we had questioned his sudden decision to leave Bella, but at the time he had been so stubborn and determined that we didn't argue it further. We believed that he knew what he was doing.

I was still unsure, and I sensed that Emmett was too, walking beside me. I glanced at him. He was frowning and staring at the ground before him as he walked. I grabbed his hand and squeezed it for a second and looked him in the eyes.

"It'll be alright. Somehow, it'll be fine again."

Emmett smiled and released my hand.

"Wanna race back?" he asked, his smile growing.

"Sure." I said, preparing myself to run. We weren't far away from the house, about twenty miles or so. Emmett started to count down.

"Three...two...one...GO!" He shot past me, making the leaves behind him shudder in the otherwise windless day. I started to run, muttering about my short legs as I pushed them as fast as I could. I could hear Emmett ahead of me, chuckling to himself. This made me try harder, run faster, but it still didn't seem to be enough. When we had come within sight of the house, Emmett stopped. He turned around to face me, his face lit up by a playful smile. I ran up to him.

"You won. Again." I said grudgingly, but Emmett just smiled.

"Come on. Lets go inside," he said and started to walk towards the house. I started to follow him and then suddenly stopped mid step.

The house in front of me vanished and instead Bella was taking up my sight. She was in her bathroom, holding a small object in her hand. Then the picture changed, she was now sitting on her bed, swallowing a small pile of pills with a look of success on her face. Then the picture changed once again, she was now laying on her bed in what seemed to be an uncomfortable position, with her hands neatly placed on her stomach. Then the vision suddenly stopped, it melted away like smoke.

I drew in a sharp breath. I was now standing in front of the house, sudden fear making it hard for me to breathe. Emmett was looking down at me with a worried face, but I wasn't ready to face him. I tried to breath calmly and focused on searching after Bella. I had to know what happened. After having come up with nothing a short while later, I tried again. Still nothing. She was completely gone. And I knew there was only one way that she could disappear completely. If she was dead.

I felt my face scrunch up to a mask of sorrow and I had to fight to remain standing. I finally looked up at Emmett and let out a whimper. He looked at me with a worried face and grabbed my arm when I threatened to fall down. He turned his head towards the house and shouted. "Jasper!" before looking back at me, unsure of what to do. I had put my arms around me, hugging myself tightly while dry sobs made my body tremor. Jasper was there within seconds, for which I was thankful. Emmett let go of my arm and I clung to Jasper, whimpering silently into his chest.

"Alice, what did you-" he started to ask, but stopped short as the full impact of my emotions hit him at my touch. He hugged me tighter, gasping slightly from the shock of my feelings.

"Lets get her inside," Jasper said quietly, looking at Emmett, his voice shaking slightly from his borrowed grief. I didn't protest and let them lead me inside and settle me down on a couch. Jasper sat down next to me and I hugged him closer to me. I heard Carlisle and Esme walking down the stairs. Carlisle took in the scene as he got there, worry instantly covering his features.

"Alice? What happened?" he asked and walked around the couch so he could see us better. Emmett was the one who answered him.

"She had a vision. We don't know what she saw." They looked at me expectantly, but I kept my eyes on the carpet, sobbing quietly.

"Edward," I whispered, urgent to let him know what had happened. My family instantly started to talk all at once.

"What happened to him?"

"I saw him just minutes ago, he was going for a walk-"

"He hasn't been attacked, has he?"

Their questions were all wrong, but they had to be answered. I still couldn't lift my gaze and pain was making it hard for me to speak.

"No... I need...Edward...." I said, both to answer their questions, that nothing had happened to him, and to let them know that I had to see him. Jasper was soothingly rubbing my back while he looked at Emmett.

"Call him," he ordered before lifting my chin with his hand to meet his eyes. From the corner of my eyes I saw Emmett pulling out his phone and talking swiftly into it. I looked back at Jasper. He looked deeply into my eyes while sending small waves of calm towards me, magnified by our skin contact.

"Alice, honey, you need to try to focus. We need to know what happened, OK?" he asked, still holding my gaze. I took a deep breath to calm myself further and nodded, his hand still on my chin. I straightened up in the couch, letting Jasper's arm fall down from my back and instead taking his hand in mine. My family gathered around me, waiting for me to talk. "I-I can't be sure, it all happened so fast..." I said, clinging to a last, faint hope that I deep down knew didn't really exist. "I saw... Bella."

EPOV

I was hurrying to the house after Emmett had called me and said that Alice had seen something and was acting... unusual. He hadn't said anymore, so naturally I was scared stiff. I was within sight of the house as I heard Alice say Bella's name. I burst into the living room in which they all sat, surrounding Alice, who looked like she'd just seen a ghost. They all looked up at my arrival and I stopped inside the threshold.

"What?" I hurried to say, "What happened to Bella?"

At my words, Alice involuntarily replayed her vision in her head. It left me confused.

"What- Alice, I don't understand. Why did the vision stop?" I asked, a small amount of fear rising in me as I saw Alice's face. She looked down with sadness and an – I couldn't be sure – apologetic look. What could have made her look so sad?

She whispered, though I had no problem hearing her. "Bella is killing herself. She's doing it right now."

My breath got caught in my throat. My whole body felt numb. "Is... is there time?" I asked silently, though I knew the answer already from her grieving thoughts.

"Edward. I can't see anymore of Bella's future..." she looked up and held my gaze with her own before continuing, "... because it doesn't exist."

At the end of her sentence I was already sagging to the floor, unable to stay upright. As my head hit the floor I had already wrapped my mind in a cocoon of hopelessness. I was silently shouting in my head, unwilling to let any coherent thoughts form. It was the thoughts from the others that first penetrated my fragile control. Alice and Emmett both thought the same thing at the same time.

_She's dead. _

I mentally cringed and closed my eyes. Alice had thought it as some kind of confirmation, Emmett with a tone of shock and fear.

Carlisle had run over to me and knelt beside me. He was lightly shaking my shoulder where I lay on my side on the carpet.

"Son? Are you OK?" His voice sounded distant. I looked up at my fathers worried face, hardly able to comprehend his words. I put my head back down, staring at the empty space in front of me.

_She's dead. _The words echoed in my head. How could that possibly be? It can't be true, it just can't...

Being a vampire, allowed my brain to get over the shock much faster than an human would. My face contorted into a mask of agony and I closed my eyes. I couldn't help but groan as I finally realized that Bella, my _Bella_, didn't live anymore. _Oh God_.

What had I done? It was my fault, of course it was. I knew that I shouldn't have left her, shouldn't have trusted that she would live happily ever after without me, when Alice's visions said otherwise. I was wrong, and because of that, she had died. It felt like someone had ripped out my silent heart and torn it apart, piercing it with nails, jumping on it, all at once. My one and only love was _gone_. I can't go on, I can't live like this. Not without her. _You've managed so far_, an unpleasant voice in the back of my mind said, but I pushed it away, unwilling to meet the truth. That I was the one who had made her kill herself.

I whimpered into the carpet, my family still watching me intently. I can't deal with my pain, I can't live. Not without her. I didn't know how to stop my agony.

_Volturi._ The thought was so obvious that I opened my eyes in shock. My empty chest seemed to expand the slightest, knowing that there was an answer to all of this. I would go to the Vultori and ask to die. It was a very comforting thought.

With that thought I managed to get into a sitting position, finally meeting the worried gazes of my family. Alice eyes glazed over where she sat on the couch, without Jasper. He had moved from the couch to the front door, leaning against it as far from me as was possible. He looked like he hardly could breathe. How strange.

With a sudden movement Alice jumped up from the couch and ran over to me.

"NO!" she shouted, and knelt in front of me, making me look into her eyes. They were widened and slightly hysteric.

"Edward, don't you dare go of and die now, don't you dare leave me too! Not when we need you!" I merely looked back into her eyes, my face blank, unable to answer. She started to sob.

"Please Edward, not now. Please, for me." I looked down, sad because I couldn't say what she wanted to hear. I had pushed my immense grief away, for the moment concentrating only on my recent decision.

"Alice," Jasper said from his corner,extending his arm toward Alice, his voice shaking from pain. Clearly he wanted to comfort Alice, but was unable to move any closer.

Emmett was the one who broke the short silence. He was standing next to Esme, who was sobbing as quietly as she could, covering her mouth with her hands. Emmett looked around the room with wide eyes, and spoke with a quiet voice.

"But... how can we know for sure? I mean if the vision just stopped short... perhaps something happened. With the vision, I mean. Perhaps it couldn't see more of Bella because she wasn't doing anything interesting..." He looked at us. Alice spoke up with a whisper.

"Emmett, she swallowed a big pile of pills." Emmett, slightly discouraged seemed to grasp for straws.

"But we still can't know for sure, there might be something that we're missing..." he said, trailing of at the end.

"You could be right, Emmett," Carlisle said, standing up. "I think that we should get back to Forks and find out what happened, before anyone," at his last word he shot a meaning look at me, "does something reckless. The least we could do is pay our last respect to Charlie." He sighed quietly. "God, I can't imagine how this must be for him."

He walked over to Esme and hugged her to his chest. Alice had stopped sobbing and looked at us with a kind of crazy excitement in her eyes.

"Yeah, I think so too, we should definitely get back to Forks before we make any other decisions." She looked at me. "Can't we make sure first, that she's... gone. After that you can go to the Volturi, we won't stop you." I looked back at her, quickly noticing her lie, but it didn't bother me. I looked down and contemplated what they just had said.

What if... what if she's alive, in some miraculous way? What if there's hope? _Those are dangerous thoughts_, I warned myself, quickly pushing back any feelings of hope. This must really hurt Jasper, I suddenly realized, feeling a little guilty. But the guilt I felt was nothing against the agony that was ripping through me every few seconds. I looked back at Alice, who was still looking at me, and sighed before nodding my head. Her eyes went blank for a second and then she was back. She put her hand against my cheek and looked me straight in the eyes.

"Thank you," she said, her voice trembling from sincerity. Then she got up and walked over to Jasper, taking his hand in hers and walking out of the room. I didn't move from the carpet I was sitting on, there was no point of doing anything. Carlisle and Esme walked upstairs, Esme still sobbing, and Emmett and Rosalie sat down together in the sofa, leaning against each other.

So, we were going back to Forks. Back to the place where I had left Bella to begin with. Back to where it all started. I knew in my mind that this was a completely unnecessary trip. I felt it already. My Bella was dead. But I couldn't see why I couldn't do this last favor for my family. I would stay with them on this Earth, just a while longer, and then I would get on the fastest flight to Italy. I could put it of a little while. Soon enough I'd be with my Bella. The thought made me happy. I closed my eyes and smiled, picturing my beautiful Bella in front of me.

**Did you really think I wouldn't write things that aren't important somewhere? Well, you were wrong. Sorry. Anyway, I need your help with something. I've just understood that there's a gap in my story. I count these first three chapters as "the beginning", then I know what's gonna happen at "the middle", I just need to figure out what to put in between those things. How awesome. Oh! I almost forgot! REVIEWREVIEWREVIEW! Pleeeease? That word, right there, just made you all jump on the review button, didn't it? If it didn't, I demand a refund. OK, I'll go now. Have a nice day/night, depending on where you are. Right here it's 10:40 p.m. I think time differences are very interesting. Oh frick, I accidentally woke up my sleeping cat! Anyway, BYE!**


	4. See past the darkness

**Disclaimer: Twilight is like a box of chocolates owned by Stephenie Meyer: Not mine, and never will be. Probably delicious, though.**

**A/N at the bottom.**

BPOV

The first thing I was aware of was my throat. It felt like someone had tried to cram a hedgehog down it. It hurt every time I drew a new breath, so from then on I tried to breath as slowly as possible to minimize the pain.

The second thing I was aware of was how incredibly heavy my body felt. I just wanted to lie like this forever and sleep, never having to get up. But somehow, I knew I couldn't. There was something that was waiting for me, something that craved my attention. I just couldn't remember what.

As my awareness increased I noticed things like my surroundings. Somewhere next to me was a beeping sound I had heard once before. I also noticed how uncomfortable the bed I was laying in was. But it wasn't uncomfortable enough for me to try to do something about it. I heard someone breathing on the opposite side from me, slow, relaxed breaths. A voice on my right side spoke quietly.

"I think she's waking up."

Those words intrigued me, and I made an attempt to open my eyes. They fluttered open and I struggled to focus and take in my surroundings. I was apparently at the hospital. I was lying in a bed with machines surrounding me. The beeping sound I had heard before came from a heart monitor on my left side. The small room barely had room for my two visitors: Charlie and Jacob. Jake was standing at my feet, leaning against the wall behind him. On my right side stood a chair, which Charlie currently was occupying. He looked tired and worried, but it all went away when he looked at me and smiled relieved.

"Oh thank God!" he exhaled sharply and then took a deep breath, as to let himself grasp the fact that I was awake. He put his hands on my arm and squeezed it slightly. "You have no idea how worried we were. How could you possibly have taken that many sleeping pills? Do you realize how bad this could have ended?"

I just stared at him at first, unable to make sense of his words. He looked at me, clearly waiting for an answer.

"I-I don't know..." I stammered quietly. I hardly knew why I was in the hospital. He seemed to accept that answer and patted my arm.

"Jake's here too," he said, turning his head to look at him and then smiled at me. "He hasn't left your side once since he... found you." An awkward silence filled the room and Charlie, looking slightly uncomfortable, got up from his seat slowly.

"I need to go call Renee. Tell her that you're all right." He turned and started to walk towards the door.

"You called Mom?" That was the first time I had spoken above a whisper, and holy God, that hurt. Mental note: Don't talk. Charlie stopped inside the threshold.

"Of course I did," he said, looking at me like I was crazy before continuing, "We didn't even know if you would... survive." He looked down with a sad expression. I felt guilty, even though I wasn't completely sure why. He stood there for a few more seconds before he hit the door frame lightly with his knuckles and walked out into the corridor.

I turned my attention to Jake. He hadn't moved, he still leaned against the far wall. He didn't even look at me, he was studying his hand, in which he was spinning a small object that I couldn't see. I hesitated, he seemed a bit angry. I kept my voice low as I addressed him, considering my soar throat.

"Hi," I said, watching his reaction. His jaw clenched, but other than that there was nothing. After a moment in silence he looked up at me and then walked over slowly to the now empty chair. He dragged it closer to the bed and sat down. He was now tossing the object from one hand to the other, stubbornly keeping his eyes on it as he did so. He still hadn't said anything.

"What is it?" I asked irritatedly, indicating his bad mood. He caught the object in one hand and leaned forward to look me in the eyes.

"Oh, I don't know," he said, his voice dripping from sarcasm but didn't elaborate. I rolled my eyes, giving up on trying to understand what his problem was. I swooped my eyes around the room. That reminded me of something. I turned back to Jacob.

"Why am I here? What happened?" I asked, looking at him. He scoffed once without humor and rolled his eyes.

"Bells. You tried to kill yourself." At his words I suddenly remembered everything. How I had swallowed the pills and been sure, even happy, that I would die. I remembered laying on my bed, slipping into unconsciousness. A wave of disappointment went through me when I realized that I was alive. But I still didn't understand how I had gotten to the hospital.

"How did I get here?" I was talking quietly but still not being able too fully avoid the pain. Jacob looked down at his hands where he had started to twirl the small object again. I suddenly recognized it. It was my pill bottle, which had contained all the sleeping pills. Realization hit me.

"_You_ found me." I stated, horrified for what I must have put him through and knowing, that I had failed in my attempt at eternal peace. My next attempt would be much harder, if there even would be one.

"M-hm," Jacob said, to confirm my statement. That seemed to have been enough for Jacob. He stood up, pushing the chair behind him as he did so, and threw the empty pill bottle in a corner. He threw his arms out.

"How could you do this to me Bella? How could you justify leaving me, Charlie, your Mom? Why? Why did you do it? Ever heard of, like, therapy? You could talk about you problems before you go and kill yourself!" He seemed to have gotten it out of his system and I kept quiet, waiting for him to calm down. He panted slightly from the sudden outburst of emotion and after a short while he sat down with a resigned look. "How-Why...? Why, Bella?" I reached for his too large hand and took it in both of my hands. I waited until he looked up.

"I'm sorry, Jacob. I'm really sorry," I said, though I wasn't really sure I meant the whole killing-myself event. One thing I was sure of was how it hurt me to know that he had been suffering. For me. I never meant for him to get hurt, I just couldn't find any other way to escape the pain.

I squeezed his hand hard, begging for him to understand the sincerity in my words. "Please, Jake, I'm sorry." He sighed and looked away, relaxing. I took that as he had accepted my apology, if only a bit. In reaction to him, I relaxed too, searching for less emotional topics.

"Hey, why does my throat hurt so much?" I said, instantly experiencing the scorching pain when I momentarily forgot to keep my voice as quiet as possible. He snorted through his nose and pulled his hand from my grasp. Apparently my new topic hadn't done anything to lighten up the mood.

"It could be because the doctors had to cram a tube down your throat to pump your stomach. They say that leaves a bit of a soreness. I wouldn't know, I've never swallowed half a drug store." He narrowed his eyes at me accusingly, obviously not satisfied with my apology. I turned my head the other way, choosing to ignore what he had said, knowing that I deserved it. We sat in silence for a long time, until Jacob broke it with a whisper.

"Are you asleep?"

I turned my head back to face him, a sad look on my face. "Jake... I'm really sorry. Please forgive me," I said, mentally slapping myself for ever letting him get so hurt. "I know it'll sound stupid if I say I didn't mean it, but I swear, I didn't know how much my decision would affect you. I never meant to hurt you."

His eyes softened at my words and he scooted his chair closer to the bed, taking my hand in his. He was looking at our hands when he spoke.

"Just...just don't do that to me again." He looked up into my eyes. "It's not just your own life you're ending." His words shocked me, but I didn't let it show. I should have known that he would feel that way, though it wasn't until now that I fully realized how entwined our lives had become.

I looked at him, struggling to suppress tears for some reason I couldn't explain. "I wont," I said in a whisper. I slowly took in a deep breath trying not to hurt my throat.

Jacob smiled slightly and let go of my hand, reaching into his pocket. He withdrew a necklace and held it up for me to see. It was a piece of wood shaped like a tear hanging from a thick leather thread. There were carvings on the wood, picturing a tree. Jacob lowered his hand and kept his eyes on the piece of wood as he spoke.

"I want to give you this. It belonged to my grandfather, apparently it has been in my family for generations. It's supposed to keep the wearer safe, not that I know how. Anyway, it's yours now." He held it out for me, but I didn't take it.

"Jake, you shouldn't give me this, it's yours. And if it's been in your family-" He cut me off.

"Hang on now, I can do what I want with it, and I want you to have it. And I think that you'll need it's protection more than I." He gave me a sly smile. I reluctantly took the necklace from him and held the piece of wood in my hand, taking a closer look. I studied it for a second before turning back to him.

"It _is_ very beautiful," I said, smiling. "Thank you." I pulled it over my head, pulling my hair through it. I absentmindedly held the pendant in my hand and put it over my heart.

Jacob leaned back in his chair, just looking at me. We sat in silence a while, until I started to feel slightly uncomfortable. I started to speak of the first thing that got to my head.

"So... how's the rest of the pack doing?" Jacob smiled at my choice of subject, but didn't complain.

"Same old, same old. Paul's as short tempered as always, Sam and Emily are happily in love, and we're all pretty worn out."

"Speaking of that," I said, suddenly reminded by his words, "How's Victoria?" I tried to keep the distress out of my voice, but didn't fully succeed.

"She's... also the same as usual." He frowned slightly and clenched his jaw. "We haven't gotten to her yet, she's too-" He was cut of abruptly as Charlie burst into the room. We both turned too look at him as he seemed to take in the scene. He stopped inside of the threshold, unsure if he should walk further in.

"Was I interrupting something?" he asked, looking unsure. We hurried to shake our heads.

"No dad, it's fine, come on in. How was Mom?" He walked in and sat down on the bed on the opposite side from Jacob.

"Oh, she's fine, she's fine..." He mumbled, seeming distracted. I looked at him questioningly.

"Dad? Is there something on your mind?" He looked at me, with a hesitant look on his face. He took a deep breath and his face became determined.

"Yeah," he said, "there is. Your Mom and I think that it would be best for you to see... a therapist." He looked down, unwilling to meet my now-furious gaze.

"What? A _therapist?_ No!" I winced from the pain in my throat, and clenched my jaw. No one said anything, and in the silence I had time to calm down. Jake cleared his throat next to me and I turned to look at him.

"Well... considering these last events you might want to think about that for a while." I narrowed my eyes at him and turned away from him, not wanting to look at either Charlie or Jake.

His words echoed in my head, ..._these last events...._ to be fair I _had_ been acting kind of... awful lately. I tried to kill myself, for crying out loud. I can't blame them for worrying about me. Instead, I should be thankful. These were the only ones who cared about me anymore, how could I have been willing to disappoint them in the worst way possible?

I sighed. I guess I owe them this much. No one had broken the silence when I spoke up.

"Fine," I said grudgingly, and Charlie looked hopefully at me, "I'll go see a therapist, if it means that much to you. Not that it will do any good." Charlie patted my arm and smiled.

"Thank you. It does mean a lot, to both me and your Mom. Well, I guess you're probably feeling a bit tired. I'll let you get some rest." With those words he got up from the bed and walked out into the hallway, closing the door quietly behind him.

I hadn't noticed it before, but I was actually a bit tired._ Yeah, I hear sleeping pills can do that to you, _I thought to myself, and tried to find a more comfortable position. I ended up laying on my side, facing Jacob.

"Do you mind if I stay?" he asked, smiling slightly.

"No, you can stay. You should get some sleep, too," I said, closing my eyes. "Just be quiet."

I heard him laugh quietly beside me, before I drifted of into blissful sleep.

**A/N I think I'm gonna try to name my chapters, Though I'm not sure how... I wonder if you can do that in (watch out for word I've never ever heard of:) arrears. I'll find out.**

**Anyways, I'm sorry for the delay but this has been a very bad week for me. Both personally and for my story. First I couldn't find out what was going to happen with my story, so I just hated my computer for a few days, then I wrote a chapter that I hated and then I was mad. And a few days later I wrote another chapter that I liked and deleted the evil chapter. And at the same time it was my quite recently (about... 8 months. Yeah, that's recently) deceased dads birthday, which wasn't exactly a happy occasion. And I don't even know why I wrote that, perhaps so you'll know that I wasn't just ignoring you all. Now I'll go and like... I don't know. Yeah. Hope you're all well, bye!**

**~Anna**

**Oh, I almost forgot! I'm writing this for you, my fantastic reviewers:**

**lamb-luver-**

**Tarkonta**

**bornagoof**

**Aaaaaand now I realized that you guys are the only ones who have reviewed. It's still cool. Thank you all, you make my day by reading it :D**

**EXTREMELY LONG A/N AGAIN! WILL STOP NOW, BYE!**


	5. Distract by doing

**A/N I'll explain myself at the bottom again, here's a piece of Jake and Edward!**

**Disclaimer: The one who said 'Nothing is impossible' obviously never tried to own Twilight. Hah. (If you didn't get it, I don't own Twilight.)**

JPOV

"Jacob. Hey, Jake! Wake up!"

I bolted upright, almost falling of the chair I was sitting in. Well, not as much sitting as laying, with my legs propped up on Bella's bed, my arms crossed over my chest and my head leaned lazily back on the edge of the chair. I blinked tiredly and looked around me, trying to take in my surroundings. I was still at the hospital, sitting in the only chair in Bella's room. Bella was sitting up in the bed in the center of the room, looking at me with a smile on her face.

"Sleep tight?" she asked, amused. My tired brain seemed to work slower than usual but after a few seconds her words got to me. I suddenly took down my feet from her bed and sat up straight, making Bella jump. I ran my hands over my face, trying to rub away the traces of sleep.

"How long was I out?" I said, my voice heavy with sleep. She smiled at my newly awakened state before answering.

"I'm not sure, but a few hours more than me. Charlie was here a while ago, but you didn't mind, you just kept on snoring." I groaned while rubbing my eyes with my thumb and index finger on my hand.

"What time is it?"

"It's about 10:00 a.m. Why?"

"What?" I shouted and jumped up from my seat, causing Bella to jump again. I turned to walk out of the room when she spoke.

"Wait! What do you mean?" she hurried to ask before I reached the door. I turned to look at her.

"You shouldn't have let me sleep this long," I said harshly, looking accusingly at her. She sank back against her pillows, looking hurt. She didn't answer. My sudden anger faded as fast as it had begun.

"Look, I'm sorry OK? It's just that I was supposed to be out now, I'm late for my shift. Sam wont be very happy." It sounded like I was late for work, and in a way it was true. Making sure Bella was safe was all I wanted, and the only way to do that was to make sure Victoria wouldn't bother us anymore.

I looked at Bella, holding her gaze. She still looked sad. "I'm sorry," I said, softly. She relaxed and smiled weakly at me.

"No, it's fine. I just didn't want you to leave just yet," she said. I smiled at her words, and turned around slowly.

"I'll be back later, OK? I'll run my shift and then I'll come and visit you," I said, while walking. I turned at the door, closing it softly. As I walked down the corridor she called after me. Her voice was kind of muffled by the distance.

"I just really wish you wouldn't do it!" I chuckled and continued walking.

EPOV

I was stuck. Unable to move from my frozen form on the living room floor and unable to divert my thoughts from Bella. The pain was excruciating, the mix between realizing that surely, Bella must be dead, and feeling the slightest hope that she is alive. While I'm here, able to travel to her but at the same time stuck in my head, a prisoner in my body.

The same thoughts constantly went through my head, that Bella could still be alive somewhere, not knowing that I love her. Because what if, in some miraculous way she was alive? And what if something happened to her before I reached her? What if I missed this second chance to tell her that I couldn't live without her? I would never forgive myself.

I didn't know how long I had been here. At times I was aware of movements around me but mostly I was just seeing Bella's face before my eyes. Praying to a God I wasn't sure existed that she was OK. I knew that I had to do something. If I wanted to see her ever again I couldn't just sit here wallowing in my grief.

I had been gathering strength to move, to plan, to leave and with a deep breath I got to my feet. I looked around me, finally starting to make sense of my surroundings. Alice was running up and down the stairs, seemingly mumbling to herself. Jasper and Emmett stood by the door, talking to each other. I couldn't see the others, though I heard Rosalie pacing in the backyard, and Carlisle and Esme somewhere on the third floor.

Alice was the first one to notice me as she ran down the stairs again, random objects resting in her arms. She stopped at the bottom of the stairs just staring at me. We both stood like that for a second, before she dropped the things on the floor and ran up and hugged me. From the corner of my eyes I saw that Jasper and Emmett had turned to look at us. I slowly reached my arms across her and hugged her back. After a while she pulled away, looking at me worriedly.

"Are you OK?" She seemed to realize what a foolish question that was, and impatiently kept talking. "Well of course you're not OK, that was stupid, what I meant was... are you feeling better?" I thought about that for a second, before answering.

"I... think so. At least I'm standing now," I said with a faint smile, unwilling to get deeper into it. I changed the subject to distract myself. It worked. "When are we going? What time is it?"

I looked at Jasper and Emmett who were still looking at me. Emmett walked over to me, ignoring my first question.

"It's almost 2 a.m. Why?" That couldn't be right. The last time I had checked the time was when Emmett had called me, saying that Alice had had a vision. Then it was about 10 p.m. That meant that I had been unmoving, locked inside myself for 4 hours. I'd lost so much time, time I could have spent traveling to Bella. Which made me realize that Emmett hadn't answered my first question.

"But why aren't we on a plane right now? Why aren't we moving?" I looked at my siblings, desperate for an answer. Alice sighed next to me.

"There's a lot that has to be planned, we have to prepare," she said, looking tired.

"What? Prepare for what?" I asked, having a hard time understanding that anything could be going on besides Bella. She chose to ignore what I had said and walked over to pick up the things she had dropped.

"Besides, if my vision was wrong and Bella isn't dead, she'll probably just be home in Forks. There's really no need to rush." Her voice was shaking, breaking her otherwise cold facade.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. She was talking about the love of my life. Of her best friend. This wasn't like her. I clenched my jaw as I fought to keep calm as I continued to press my subject.

"But what if your vision was right. We should go _now_," I almost growled, and waited for her response. I was shocked to see that when she turned back to me her face looked pained. She spoke with a small trembling voice.

"We can't go now. If we do I'm not sure things will... work out." She looked up at me pleadingly. My eyebrows wrinkled together in confusion. I walked over to her, concerned. Emmett and Jasper seemed to have already heard this. They just stood and watched my reactions intently.

"What Alice? What did you see?" She closed her eyes in concentration as she replayed her vision in her head.

It was me, Alice, Jasper and Rosalie sitting in a stolen car weaving in and out of cars in our hurry. Alice was driving while speaking urgently to me, who sat in the passenger seat. Without a warning a man ran out right in front of the car and stopped there, causing the car to shape itself around him, and Alice and I to fly out through the windshield. Then the vision stopped.

I knew that only a vampire would be able to catch us by surprise, much less cause a car to shape itself around someone. Alice opened her eyes.

"So..." I said matter-of-factly, "We will be ambushed."

_They must know that we are heading back to Forks. But how could they know that? _Alice thought.

"I don't know," I said quietly. "I didn't see who it was." We all stood in silence for a while, before Jasper spoke up.

"Then we have to plan. And hunt." He seemed to have gotten into his old army-mode. I nodded my head in agreement.

I was urgent to get to Bella, to find out if she even was alive, but I couldn't risk my whole family. They shouldn't have to risk their lives. I should leave alone. I looked up to see Jasper, already discussing our journey with Emmett. Alice was looking suspiciously at me. I ignored her as I spoke up to share my thoughts.

"I think it would be best if I go alone. Then I'll get to Bella, without causing you any harm. It makes perfect sense."

"_You're_ not the one who harms us, didn't you see? It's some crazy vampire, and if you think that we'll let you go alone-" Alice said, but I cut her off.

"I will be the one that indirectly hurts you, because I am the one who wants to leave in the first place. If you stay here, you will be fine," I answered.

"But what if _you're_ the one who ends up harmed. Then _indirectly_ it will be our fault for letting you go, right?" Emmett said with a smirk, satisfied by his reasoning.

"You can't stop me from leaving," I said, defensively. "I have to get to Bella."

"Of course we can't stop you from leaving, but we wont let you go alone," Jasper said slightly impatient. He continued his sentence in his head. _It's too late anyway._ _Alice is never wrong. Bella must be dead._

I violently flinched away from him, stubbornly detaching me from what he said, before shoving him into the nearest wall, pressing him up against it.

"Don't you _ever_ _dare_ to think that again," I growled through my teeth. "It's _not true. _Not until I've seen it with my own eyes." I let go of him and turned away, rage and indescribable grief coursing through me at once. I sat down in the couch, covering my face with my palms.

I could sense Alice and Emmett watching us confusedly but I didn't care. I heard Jasper walking over to me slowly. I heard his regret and apologetic thoughts before he had time to speak. I dropped my hands from my face and sighed.

"No, Jasper, I'm the one that's sorry. I shouldn't have done that to you. Please forgive me. You are free to think what you want, it's just that-that..." I stammered before continuing in a pleading voice, "... we don't know yet. There's still a little hope." A wave of calm hit me as I finished my sentence, Jasper's way of apologizing. Emmett shrugged, deciding to ignore our strange conversation.

"So. What about the planning?" He looked at me and continued impatiently as he saw me open my mouth to speak, "And yes, we are all coming with you, no matter what you think. If you try to leave alone we'll just chase after you and with that losing our last opportunity to hunt." I closed my mouth, not arguing their decision.

"First thing's first, we have to hunt. Then we have at least two flights to catch, if not more. Just that will take about 18 hours," Jasper said. My heart sank as I considered the many hours I would be stuck, unable to do anything to speed up the process.

Jasper continued. "Then we have to get from Seattle to Forks. The best way would be in a car, but based on Alice's vision, perhaps we should stay away from cars. Do you think we'll make it unseen if we run?" He turned to me.

"I don't know, I think we have to make that decision when we reach Seattle, we don't know what situation we'll be in until we're there. As for our... followers," my mouth twisted around the word, "I think they'll come after us no matter what way we are traveling. I wonder what they want form us..." I said, mostly to myself.

"OK. Let's tell the others," Emmett said enthusiastically and clapped his hands together once. "Hey, get here everyone."

Esme and Carlisle ran down the stairs to join us, Esme looking slightly hysterical. Rosalie ran in from the garden. She looked angry and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Did you listen to what we just said?" I asked them. Rosalie nodded once, but Carlisle and Esme looked confused and shook their heads. "OK, we'll fill you in later, but now we have to hunt. I presume that you will come with me to Forks?" It turned into a question at the end, uncertainty causing my eyebrows to pull together. Jasper sighed and both Alice and Emmett rolled their eyes.

"How many times do we have to tell you? You are not going alone," Emmett said.

"Of course we'll follow you, Bella means a lot to the whole family," Carlisle said and patted my shoulder. Rosalie just snorted and looked away, but I knew that she wouldn't stay at home when Emmett was going with us.

I smiled at my family, unable to express my gratitude in any other way.

"Well, let's go then," Emmett said and smiled. "It's time to hunt."

**A/N Hey! Long time no see, huh? Once again it took a week for me to update but I have a reason! (Sorry about the delay, btw) So, the thing is, I write at nights. In my room. On my computer. For two weeks now, we have had relatives living here, and they all insist on using my room. Nah, not really, but I'm kinda forced to offer it. That sounded really mean. I'm glad to offer it, but at the same time it annoys me, because then I can't be in my room at nights, writing. And I'm a bit annoyed right now, because my mom just said that I have to start to turn the schedule of my days and nights back to how it was when it was school-time, but I don't want to. I mean, I don't start school for another three weeks. Just because she starts work on Monday. Guess who will sneak up at night and write?**

**Anyway, I was trying to give Jake a whole chapter for himself but it just didn't work out. And speaking of Jake, there is a possibility that he will... disappear. Not die or something like that, I'm just not sure if he's important for the plot. That's up to you, if you want to see more of Jake than you have to tell me. Aaand, speaking of that, can we try to reach 10 total reviews? (That's only three reviews, guys!) I'm not sure if that's to much to ask. Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to, like, black mail you into reviewing me like some people do. Like writing: "Updates when I've gotten 15 reviews". I think that's so mean. What if you only have one reader? But at the same time, it seems to work... I read a story that wasn't really that good, it had really short chapters and a weak plot and such, but it had still gotten over a 100 reviews. I have... 7. No, I'm sorry for ranting, I'm grateful for the reviews I have :D**

**Oh, and btw, I re-read one of my chapters a while ago, and I realized that I'm... not as good as I thought. That's a bit embarrassing. And here I am, thinking that I can write in English. But that doesn't mean that I'll stop! :D (But I have an excuse! I don't have a Beta, and I'm Swedish! Yeah!) **

**Anyways, hope you're well, thanks for reading this incredibly long A/N! **

**~Anna**


	6. For a good cause

**Hey everyone! New chapter, and it didn't take a week for me to update! Yay! Okay, you know the drill, A/N at the bottom, enjoy your reading. (I think my cat just had a nightmare. That was an important piece of information, right there.)**

**Disclaimer: I spy with my little eye something beginning with T. It's not Twilight, and even if it was, it still wouldn't belong to me. (Would it surprise you if I said that I actually spend time thinking of these? And speaking of that, I thought of a brilliant little disclaimer-rhyme this morning, and I even thought that I should write it down. Do you think I did it? Of course not. Grr.)**

BPOV

I was now alone in my little room in the hospital. Jacob had left a while ago, and without any company I was bored out of my mind. I sighed heavily, which made me notice the absence of pain in my throat. I swallowed and it still didn't hurt. I was just about to clear my throat when I decided I shouldn't push my luck.

Charlie had visited me in the morning before he went to work. He had brought me some normal clothes – the hospital gowns weren't exactly inconspicuous. Which might not be a problem when you're in a hospital, but it's like walking around with an IV on a pole that you pull beside you. Everyone stares at you. And I've never been a fan of attention.

While Charlie was here, he told me about the therapy sessions you could go to here in the hospital, free of charge. I couldn't help but feel a little annoyed at how badly he wanted me to see a therapist. It was as if he could've thrown me out of the room in his eagerness.

Scared of being alone for to long with my thoughts, I quickly put on my clothes – jeans and a green long sleeved sweater – and walked out of my room, closing the door behind me. I wasn't planning on doing anything reckless, like running from the hospital or something like that, just to walk along the corridors for a while. I had decided to be extra considerate with both Charlie and Jacob, I would stay out of trouble for as long as I possibly could. Which, if you were me, wasn't the easiest thing to do.

In the middle of the corridor was a small nurses station, with a desk and journals neatly stacked on the counter surrounding the station. The nurses were to busy to notice me as I calmly walked away from my room dressed in my ordinary clothes.

I peeked into some rooms through the windows in the doors as I made my way down the corridor, some sights making me smile and some making me divert my eyes with sadness and fear as I saw them.

I saw a young man with bandages around his head and his arm in a cast, surrounded by his family who were all smiling at him. I also saw a door with a note on it that said "Do not disturb". I mentally cringed away from the door and looked the other way. A note like that had been stuck on the door to my grandmothers room, when she had died. I know that, because Mom hadn't let me in to see her after she died, so I was waiting outside with nothing but the note to look at.

I kept walking until I reached the elevators. I was on the second floor, and the building consisted of five floors altogether. The doors to an elevator opened beside me and people welled out of it. No one entered it again. I considered going in. _Why not_? I thought and stepped in and pressed the button to the fourth floor.

When the doors opened I took a step out into the corridor. It was identical to the one I had left, except for one thing. I was completely alone. For some reason I felt scared, like I'd just entered a scary movie. I listened for some sign of movements and was reassured when I heard phones ringing and people wandering around further down the corridor. I started walking to a place where the corridor curved and let out a sigh of relief when I reached it and saw nurses, doctors and patients walking to and from rooms.

I was on my way to the nurses station to ask on which floor I could find a cafe or something, when something caught my eye. I turned to the right to see a door with a brass name tag beside it. The door was different from the others on the floor, since it didn't have a window in it. The name tag read _Rhea Carroll, Therapist/Psychiatrist_. I internally snorted as I watched the sign, but didn't move.

I mean, it couldn't be a coincidence that I walked here, to this door, but at the same time I really didn't want to go in. It would force me to build a sea of lies, and I was afraid to drown. This was a professional who was supposed to look out for signs of lying, and I've never been a good liar. My blushes always gives me away. It could go very bad, and I wasn't ready for the padded cells just yet.

But I wondered if I would be able to make it if I edited away all the vampire-werewolf stuff, what if I just stuck to feelings? But I didn't want to get to deep into that either, emotions were best kept buried deep down inside me.

And then, what if it helped me to talk to someone? What if it actually made me feel better? I would give a lot to be able to think freely again, and perhaps get back to my old life. But were the pro's enough to weigh up the con's? I wasn't sure.

Is stood in front of the door for a few seconds, listening to my internal debate, before I decided to go on instinct. I knocked on the door before I had time to change my mind. I almost instantly regretted my decision, but it was to late now, as I heard someone on the other side of the door.

"Come in!" a female voice called to me. I opened the door hesitantly and peeked in. I pushed the door open as I saw the size of the room. The front room was about as big as three normal sized hospital rooms and held a desk with an appurtenant receptionist and an empty chair in front of it. Against the wall facing the desk was a loveseat and a coffee table. Plants were positioned around the room.

Connected to the front room was what seemed to be an office with a glass wall, making it possible to see straight into it. In the office there was two sofas and some chairs, along with another desk on the other side of the room. Leading out from the front room were two other doors that I couldn't see where they led. Grudgingly, I wondered why the patients rooms were so small when these rooms were so big.

The receptionist looked at me expectantly. She looked to be in her thirties, she had brown hair in a ponytail and modern looking glasses and a jacket. I hesitantly walked up to her. What on earth was I going to say?

"Hi..." I said, as I scrambled for something to say. "I'm Bella. Bella Swan and I was just-" I didn't have time to say anything else before she cut me of with a friendly smile.

"Oh! Well I met your father earlier today, so we're all ready for you." I just stared at her blankly. Why was Charlie here? I didn't understand.

"Why-?" I begun to say, but as before she seemed to be one step ahead of me.

"Here, I wrote it on a note," she said as she quickly searched through a stack of papers. When she found the right one, she brought it into the light and read it aloud.

"'Bella Swan, daughter of Charlie Swan have an appointment anywhere between 10:00 a.m. and 5:00 p.m.' He insisted that you had to be able to walk and go as you liked."

I narrowed my eyes as I thought about Charlie. Apparently he _really_ wanted this. But couldn't he had talked to me about it? I mean, he made them book the whole day for me, what if I'd never shown up? It was quite lucky that I had walked here. But lucky for me or for Charlie, I wasn't sure. The receptionist interrupted my thoughts.

"Miss? Would you like to see Dr. Carroll now, or later? Just so I can schedule in some other patients, you see." She smiled at me again, which annoyed me a bit. Her jaw must be tired from so much smiling. I quickly thought her question over. Apparently I still had to go to this therapist soon, so I might as well get it over with. But I was still scared that I would mess up.

"I'll see Dr. Carroll as soon as possible, please." I said quietly and smiled weakly back at her, though it didn't reach my eyes. I was reluctant to try to talk to a therapist, even though I had agreed to do it. She smiled in return and looked down at her computer screen. I rolled my eyes when she wasn't looking. Would this woman ever stop smiling?

She looked up at me, smiling, as always.

"Dr. Carroll is ready for you in a few minutes. You can just walk into her office and wait there," she said, pointing towards the office with the glass wall. I had been hoping it was some other office, the glass wall bothered me. It reminded me too much of another familiar house with glass walls.

I whispered my thanks politely as I turned to walk into the office. It had one of those doors that you just had to push open, it was also made of glass. As I pressed my hand against it, I wondered how often they had to clean it to keep it as spotless as it was.

I stood in the room for a second, unsure what to do. Then I thought it looked silly to just stand, so I went and sat down in one of the sofas. I looked around me awkwardly, knowing that the receptionist easily could see me through the glass wall if she wished. My head suddenly whipped around to the door as who I assumed was Dr. Carroll walked in with a bunch of papers in her hands. She looked kind, and smiled at me.

"Hi, Bella," she said and then walked over to her desk to leave the papers and trade them for a notebook and a pencil. Her appearance was a bit surprising. I had expected the look of a strict business woman, but instead she wore blue jeans, a red T-shirt and had her hair out. She walked over to the sofas and sat down in the sofa on the opposite side from me, so we had a coffee-table between us. She crossed her legs and rested the notebook against her knee. I hadn't said anything yet.

"So," she said evidently getting straight to business. She looked right at me and smiled the creepy shrink-smile that is supposed to be reassuring but ends up being the opposite. A smile that says: 'I know more about you than you do', though in this case I doubted her. "Maybe we shall begin with introducing ourselves?"

I didn't see why, since she obviously knew who I was and I knew who she was. She continued. "I'm Dr. Carroll. My job is to listen to what you have to say, no matter what you want to talk about. In time, I'm here to make you feel better, so that you can get back to your old life."

She went silent after that, looking expectantly at me. After a second I realized that she was waiting for me to speak.

"Oh, well... I'm Bella. As you already know." I managed to sound polite, even though I felt irritated. She seemed happy with my response and scribbled something in her notebook. If I hadn't felt uncomfortable before, the notebook sure didn't make things better.

"Can you tell me about what happened? How everything started?" I just looked at her for a moment.

_No, I actually can't,_ I wanted to say. _It's a story involving various mythological creatures, such as vampires and werewolves. Want to hear more, or just lock me up right now? _But instead of running away from there like I wanted to, I sat in the sofa, feeling more uncomfortable than ever, and searched my mind for what to say.

"It's really nothing. It's just that my..." I struggled to get the word out, "b-boyfriend, left me." I tried to look nonchalant and ignore the ripping pain in my chest, but I didn't quite succeed. I'm sure she noticed. She looked sympathetically at me and nodded, while scribbling in her notebook.

"Why did he do that? Did he tell you?" She sounded calm, like she knew that I could burst in to tears or shout in her face any second. The hole in my chest hurt more and more every second, and I knew that I wouldn't be able to keep my "calm" facade for much longer.

"He didn't want me anymore." I said simply, not letting it show on my face how much those words hurt me. She looked like she had expected as much. Her next question almost gasp.

"What was your boyfriend's name?" My eyes widened as I fought to keep everything about him locked up in my head, to not let anything slip out. I closed my eyes in concentration and felt my breathing becoming fast and shallow. It wouldn't surprise me if I was thrown into a full blown panic attack.

"Bella? Are you OK?" I heard Dr. Carroll ask, and I opened my eyes and looked at her. I guessed that the look on my face hadn't exactly been reassuring, because she cringed away from me in the slightest. I fought to keep my breathing even, and got even more panicky when I realized that I couldn't.

I rose from the couch on wobbling legs and mumbled "I have to go," while swiftly walking through the door. I heard Dr. Carroll stand up to follow me which made me move even faster. The receptionist looked up at me with eyebrows furrowed in confusion but I just walked past her.

Once I got out into the corridor I turned my head to the sides to find a place to be alone. Patients and staff members were walking down the hallway and the buzzing from phones and other sounds came from the nurses station not far away. I turned the opposite direction and walked, struggling to avoid bumping into people in my hurry.

"Bella!" I heard Dr. Carroll call after me as I turned a corner, but I didn't pause to look for her. I noticed that I was back at what seemed to be an abandoned ward, where I first had got out of the elevators. I was relieved when I saw that the corridor was empty except for a couple by the elevators and hurried forward, trying to pass unnoticed.

I looked up from under my eyelashes to make sure no one was looking at me as I slid into one of the empty patients rooms. I quickly but quietly closed the door behind me and turned to look at the room. I was relieved when I saw that the room was identical to my own, two floors down. For some reason that familiarity made me feel... safe. I clutched my chest as I felt the hole throb and leaned against the side of the bed. Suddenly I straightened up from the bed like it had hurt me or something. I looked at it, suddenly reminding myself of when I had been in the hospital in Phoenix. _He_ hadn't left my side...

I felt my arms and legs shake as I almost started hyperventilating. Oh God, I had to get a grip. I sat down on the floor, in the corner next to the bed. I had my legs pressed to my chest and put my forehead on my knees, and my arms around my legs, hugging them tightly. I focused on my breathing – in and out, in and out. I sat like that until my breathing slowed, and I relaxed a bit. I sighed as I thought about what had just happened. I would never get better, and the thought made me depressed.

"Excuse me? Are you alright?"

I jumped about a foot in the air and my head shot up to look at the person who had talked to me. I hadn't even heard anyone come in.

I felt my eyes widen and my jaw drop as I saw her face. She was _beautiful_. She was rather short and slim. She wasn't old, she looked to be about 13 years old, still with a childish roundness in her face. She had very short pale brown hair and her eyes were wide and had a muddy brown color. She was wearing a pair of jeans and a light blue T-shirt. She looked concerned as she smiled at me, waiting for an answer.

I closed my mouth as I tried to compose myself, trying not to let the sudden fear I felt show. She was inhumanly beautiful. Literally. Her skin was pale and I could bet my motorcycle on that it was cold, too.

I figured that she was a vampire and that made me confused. But at the same time I felt silly for thinking that just because the... Cullen's were gone, there wouldn't be any other vampires around. And I felt scared, not from what she most definitely could do to me if she wanted - she seemed nice enough - but what kind of memories she might bring up.

She looked a bit puzzled when I still hadn't answered. Then she relaxed and smiled. "Oh, I'm sorry. I must have scared you," My eyes widened. Did she know that I knew that she was a vampire? She continued. "I didn't mean to startle you." I relaxed at her words. She didn't know after all. Or did she?

"Oh, and I'm forgetting my manners too." She extended her hand out to me. I hesitantly took it. "Hi," she said, "I'm Jane."

**A/N Dun dun duuuun! Okay, that was weird. **

**So, how was it this time? Note that I updated sooner this time, wohoo! But on the other hand it mainly was because I might not be able to update this Saturday (I like updating on Saturdays... I'm cool) because I'm gonna be a bit busy. But on the other hand, you never know. I have to say, this was not an easy chapter to write. And neither will the next chapter be, I'm sure. I just find it a bit... boring to make up people, like the therapist. And at the same time I have absolutely no idea of how a therapist act. Yeah, because all therapist act the same, it's a part of the therapy-code. I'm being ridiculous and sarcastic. I don't know why, really.**

**OH! I forgot to say it: WE MADE IT! Or rather, you made it. We reached not only 10, but 11 reviews! Huzzah! **

**Oh, and before I forget, I totally made up Jane's age! I'm not a reliable source for, well, anything, but in this case ages. I just thought that since she was supposed to be young, but still seemed so mature, I made her 13. Yeah.**

**Oh my God, my cat (his name is Sven, btw. That's about the most Swedish name ever. Except for like... Kajsa *shudders* Though he was named when we bought him, otherwise I was thinking of naming him Emmett. I almost got it through, but then we figured that he had been Sven for like a month and it would be weird to change his name. ANYWAY) and I was just going to say that he looks like a sheep right now. Wasn't that awesome? Totally worth it.**

**And I'm not going to set some kind of review-goal this time, You were so nice last time that I feel guilty for asking you to do it. Thank you!**

**I was just going to write a bit about tea (OMG, our other cat, Wilma, is really cute right now!) but I wont. If you want to read about tea, you should go to my profile... I mean, who DOESN'T want to read about tea? Okay, I'm crazy. **

**Hope you're all well, as always! PEACE! (So cool. Why am I so lame today? **_**Today, **_**you ask. Ugh.)**

**BYE EVERYONE!**

**~Anna**


	7. Ignore the signs

**Hi! Gosh, I'm sorry for not being able to update, but first Fanfiction told me that I couldn't log in this Saturday and Sunday (was that just me?), and yesterday I couldn't remember an important thing I had to add to the chapter that I had thought of earlier that day. Just so you know :) **

**So here you go, another BPOV, but I promise, next chapter Jacob will be back. It bothers me to write the same POV in a row, but I had to. Maybe that's why I don't really like this chapter. Anyway, I hope _you_ like it, and you'll see _me_ at the bottom of this chapter :D (Oh! Before I forget, you need to know that Jane can _act, _and I have absolutely no idea how a typical 13 year old acts, buuuut... Yeah. That's the way Jane act's anyway.)**

**Disclaimer: Walking in the city, I stumbled on a sign, it left me rather shocked, when it said Twilight's not mine.**

BPOV

_She extended her hand out to me. I hesitantly took it. "Hi," she said, "I'm Jane."_

"I'm Bella," I whispered, now embarrassed that she had walked in on me being a total wreck. I quickly stood up and brushed my clothes of. Jane didn't seem to mind, she just backed away a few steps to give me some space and smiled slightly. Once I had straightened up she turned back to me, looking a bit worried. I couldn't imagine why.

"How are you feeling?" she asked and graciously hopped up on the bed. I wondered why she even cared. I turned to her.

"I'm fine, really," I smiled unconvincingly and looked down, worried that she'd see through my lie if I met her gaze.

"Then why did you just sit in a corner hyperventilating?"

Busted. I looked up into her eyes. There was something wrong with her eye color, but I couldn't put my finger on what. I wasn't sure what to say.

"I...um, was just..." my voice trailed of, and I sighed. I figured that this was a girl who seemed to care and I was probably never going to see her again, and for some reason, I felt I trusted her. I took a deep breath before continuing. "I... got a bit... emotional at my therapy session, so I went here to calm down."

She nodded understandingly before she smiled and looked excited. "You go to therapy? Here? Don't tell me you're therapist is Dr. Carroll." She looked expectantly at me. I looked confusedly back at her. I had absolutely no idea where she was heading with this.

"Er... yes?" I said, more a question than a statement.

"So do I!" she almost squealed, and at that moment she reminded me so much of Alice that I couldn't help but cringe away from her. I tried to disguise it, but she immediately went silent. The hole in my chest ripped open for what seemed to be the tenth time today, and I wished with all my power that this girl would disappear and leave me alone in my misery.

Instead of leaving she looked at me with a bit of a shocked expression, but in the same time looked like she confirmed something, though her face immediately turned into a concerned face as she saw me looking. She waited a little while so that I could collect myself before she spoke.

"What happened to you?" she spoke with a whisper. I scoffed silently, this was really not a conversation I wanted to have right now. I waited until my breathing had returned back to normal before answering her.

"Look, I really don't want to talk about it, maybe some other time," I said, praying that there never would be another time. She looked down to her knees, nodding.

I tried to think of another subject, when it hit me. Why on earth would she, obviously a vampire, need to go to therapy? But on the other hand, what did I know about such things? Maybe it had something to do with her being younger than all the vampires I had known. Maybe the brain wasn't mature yet, or something.

I looked at her. It was something about her that was creepy. It looked like she acted more innocent than she was, but sometimes she slipped. You could just hint the respect and authority that lay under the surface.

It scared me, but at the same time she seemed so innocent and caring. I didn't know what to think.

I decided to ask her about the therapy thing, just to fill the silence that during my thinking had stretched on, becoming awkward.

"Why are you in therapy?" I asked, looking at her a bit suspiciously, though she didn't seem to notice. She had raised her head to look at me as soon as I started to talk. She rolled her eyes.

"My sister really wants me to, just because I was in an accident. She thinks that it's gonna help me later on, if I accept it now, or something like that," she shrugged at the end of her sentence.

I could far to well imagine such an accident, leaving her dying until getting saved, by being turned into a vampire. I wondered if her sister also was a vampire, or if she even was her sister or just someone who had taken care of her.

She hopped down from the bed and sighed.

"I should probably get going. My therapy session starts in ten minutes." She sounded sad and didn't leave immediately but stalled next to the bed. I looked at her, figuring that perhaps she wanted us to be friends now, or something.

It wasn't exactly what I wanted the most right now, but politeness got the best of me and I figured that since she had been nice to me, the least I could do was to walk her to her therapy. That would also give me an opportunity to apologize to Dr. Carroll for just storming of earlier on.

"Is it okay if I join you? I just have to explain myself to Dr. Carroll," I said, trying to sound casual. I wasn't sure if I wanted her to think that we were friends or not. I couldn't help but like her for acting so caring towards me, but it was something weird about her, like she was hiding something. I didn't exactly trust her, yet. Her face lit up at my words and nodded as she turned for the door.

I followed her into the empty corridor and we started to walk back to Dr. Carroll's office. Before we turned the corner to reach the occupied ward of this floor, I looked behind me, to the otherwise empty corridor. My eyebrows pulled together as I wondered why anyone, except for me, the wreck, would want to go there. I looked down at Jane where she walked next to me. She looked serious, almost irritated. I decided to ignore that as I spoke up.

"Why were you over there?" I asked inclining my head back to the hallway we had just left. As soon as I had spoken she looked at me and smiled, her quick reaction made me question who was responsible of her. I knew that she was a vampire, but if normal humans saw her, they would get suspicious. Which again made me question if she knew that I knew. Why else would she act so careless? She shrugged as she turned her head to look in front of her.

"Oh, I heard you," she stated simply. "I heard you... panic, and I went to see what was wrong." She said this like it was the most obvious thing to do, both hear someone though no one else had done so, and go and comfort that person. I had to admire her a bit for that, few people cared enough to do that, even though she was intimidating with her sudden and subtle mood swings.

While we talked we had reached the therapist's office. This was the second time I stood outside of these doors, and I would love to have a second to collect myself before going in. But I wasn't given the opportunity as Jane, seemingly oblivious to my hesitation just knocked rapidly at the door, not waiting for an invitation before going in. I sighed and followed her, a bit worried about Dr. Carroll's reactions to my earlier outburst.

As I stepped into the waiting room the receptionist looked up at me. I couldn't help but notice that she wasn't smiling anymore. There was nothing that made you less happy than witnessing someone rushing out in panic from a therapy session. For now she just looked at me pityingly and then looked down at her computer with a sad look on her face.

I walked straight past her and walked into Dr. Carroll's office where I also saw Jane through the glass wall. The door was open in a welcoming way, though I couldn't feel anything but dread as I entered the office for the second time today.

Dr. Carroll was talking to Jane. They were facing each other, away from me, but turned to look at me as I entered. I felt ashamed for running away earlier, but instead of letting my insecurities show, I just walked up to Dr. Carroll and spoke.

"I'm sorry I left before. I wasn't... feeling well," I finished, hoping that she understood that I wasn't talking about a physical illness, but rather my panic attack. To my surprise she just smiled at me.

"Of course Bella. I understand that this will take some getting used to. But know that if you ever feel that way again, you don't have to run away. We can just... switch to lighter subjects or just be quiet, if you wish." She smiled at me, but I didn't know what to say.

I wasn't sure if it would be that easy to stop my fits of anguish, but it was nice of her to express that she was okay with my outburst. I didn't know what I was so worried about, clearly she seemed used to dealing with lunatics. I exhaled, not realizing until now that I had been holding my breath.

"That's..." I said, a smile threatening to brake out on my lips, "that's good. Thanks."

"I have another appointment now, but it won't take long, if you want you can wait in the other room," she said, motioning back through the door with her head as she spoke. I looked at Jane who winked at me behind Dr. Carroll's back. I didn't really understand what she meant, but I smiled slightly in response.

I decided to do as she had suggested, to wait till the session was over. I nodded in response and went to sit in the waiting room. I closed the door to the office behind me and walked to sit in one of the sofas at the opposite wall from the small reception. When I walked past the receptionist she looked up at me, and immediately smiled in response to me not looking worried anymore. I fought the urge to roll my eyes and turned my back on her to sit in a sofa.

On the small coffee table in front of the sofa there were stacks of magazines next to a vase with flowers. Since the wall to Dr. Carroll's office was made of glass you were able to see anything that happened in there. It made me feel like I was intruding, so I occupied myself with reading the magazines.

Four magazines later, the door to the office opened, and out stepped Jane, quickly followed by Dr. Carroll. They both walked towards me. I put my magazine down and stood up from the couch. Dr. Carroll was the one who spoke up.

" So," she said, stopping in front of me, "how are you feeling now?" I shrugged.

"Fine." She smiled before continuing.

"Then we should probably discuss when your next appointment should be," I nodded, and we agreed on on having my nest session in a week. Both Jane and I thanked her and made our way into the corridor.

"How did it go?" I asked her as she walked beside me through the corridor. We walked slowly, not in any hurry to get somewhere. She looked down as she answered.

"Okay, I guess," she said and shrugged like it didn't matter. Once again I wasn't sure what she meant, but I didn't want to get to far into it. I changed the subject to try to lighten up the mood.

"Where are you going now? What are you gonna do?" She smiled as she looked up at me and stuck her hands in her pockets.

"My sister is waiting outside. She's supposed to pick me up."

"Oh," I said, not knowing what else to say. We walked in silence for a while before she spoke.

"Do you want to meet her? My sister?" she asked, looking excited. Honestly, I didn't really care, but I couldn't bear to say no to her smiling face. It felt like she had tipped the scales when she first had tried to comfort me, and that we wouldn't be even until I was nice to her enough.

"Sure," I said, trying to hide my reluctance. She beamed at me and started to walk faster so I had to run to catch up with her.

Once we made it to the bottom floor we walked out of the main entrance. I let Jane walk ahead of me to lead the way. After a little while we reached what I assumed to be her car. Leaning against it was a woman. She of course was also beautiful, just as I had presumed. The word _vampire_ repeated itself in my head, and it made me feel... strange. Both happy, in a way, that this somehow made me feel closer to my long lost family, and scared, because I should definitely not be feeling this strange and undeserved trust towards them.

The woman was tall and had long, mahogany brown hair. Her legs were very long and her eyes had a strange violet color. I mentally shrugged it of as nothing, not bothering to care. She was leaning against the car in a nonchalant way, almost arrogant. She didn't look up at us until we were standing right in front of her. She eyed me in a way that made me feel self conscious and I quickly looked down. Jane turned to me.

"So, Bella. This is my sister, Heidi. Heidi, this is Bella." She pointed at her sister and then at me. I looked up at her. She still had a kind of curious but still condescending look on her face.

"Hi," I whispered, not daring to say much else. She ignored me and turned slightly to the side.

She said something to fast for me to hear, but I wasn't sure if it was to herself or to Jane. Jane didn't seem to have noticed, but I was sure she had. If _I_ had noticed her speaking than Jane most definitely had. She smiled at me and ignored her sister.

"So," she said excitedly, "I wanted to ask you something." Those words made me suspicious. She didn't wait for me to respond.

"The thing is that apparently, once a year, the hospital pays for the therapy group to travel somewhere together to, like, get to know each other. I've already signed up for it, it's only for two days and then we're back here. The trip starts tomorrow. And... I would love it for you to come." She smiled at me, waiting for my response.

Now this was to ask to much. Travel with her? I didn't even know where. It struck me that it wouldn't be a bad idea to actually ask.

"Where?" I asked simply. She seemed to understand my question though, and she shrugged happily, like she didn't really care.

"Oh, no one knows yet. They don't tell us until we're at the airport. Which in a way is really stupid, I mean people, _especially_ people who already have to go to therapy, could easily jump of a cliff without this unnecessary stress..." her voice trailed of as she looked at me.

A trip? I couldn't deny that the idea was appealing. I've never really traveled, but I would love to be able to visit another country and do all the normal tourist stuff. I wanted to visit some of the historical monuments and other famous sightings. But I doubted that Charlie would agree.

On the other hand, the hospital was paying. That was sure to make Charlie happy. But on the other hand again, I didn't even know where I was going. Why all this secrecy? It did seem pretty useless.

But then again, to travel! And then I thought of Jake. I bet he wouldn't be to happy that I left as soon as I was out of the hospital. Maybe he could come with me? No, he wasn't in therapy. But... I sighed internally. I had to think this over carefully. I looked at Jane.

"I'm... gonna have to think about it, okay?" She nodded, a bit sadly. Then her face got bright again.

"You can take my number so you can let me know what you decide." She picked up her cellphone. I was unsure of what to do. I didn't have a cellphone, and until this moment I hadn't thought I needed one. She looked at me and her smile wavered a bit when she saw my expression.

"What?" she asked. I looked awkwardly at her.

"I... don't have a cellphone." I looked down, blushing slightly. She chuckled before pulling a pocket sized notebook and pen from her pocket. She scribbled down her number and gave it to me.

"Thanks," I murmured, embarrassed. Her sister, who had kept on leaning against the car, now went around it and got into the drivers seat. She didn't even look at me. I took that as a hint.

"I think your sister wants to go." I said. Jane looked annoyed but her smiled returned briefly as she spoke to me.

"I'll talk to you later, then. Take care!" She too got into the car.

"You too," I just had time to say before she closed her door and they sped of. I was left standing at the sidewalk, a bit awkwardly, before I turned around and walked back into the hospital.

**A/N Yeah! Tell me what you think, good, bad, awful, delicious? You decide. I personally really don't like to write the same POV two times in a row, but like I said, Jake's back for the next chapter! Woho! But I have a few things to think about, I mean all the three stories has to melt together in the end. Not sure how to do that, but I'll think about that when I get there. **

**My tooth really hurts! Just had to get that out there. Don't know why... :(**

**Ooh, I was at two concerts today! Just wanted to share, once again. It was funny, but that also means that I'm tired. So I'll probably go to bed soon. Yeah.**

**Huh, I didn't write the longest A/N humanly possible today, what a shock. It's still pretty long, though. Totally awesome subject!**

**Hey, should we try to reach... 15 reviews? Just one review to go! Yay! Or... should we aim even higher? Like... 17 reviews? No, that's probably to high. But I don't care, it's a nice goal to set. Three reviews to go, guys! You can do it! I believe in you!**

**Gosh, no, I'll go now. Hope you're alive and happy. It's always good to be alive, don't you think? I have to stop. Hugs to you all, bye everyone! **

**~Anna**


	8. Had enough

**Hey people! I'm back, with a new chapter. And I'm apologizing in advance, this chapter is a bit shorter than the others! But not a lot shorter, just a little bit. I just couldn't strech it out further :) No, I'm kidding. It's fine, though I'm even confusing myself with the hours and what not in this one, if you have a problem just let me know and I'll explain it to you. I'll see you at the bottom, as always! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Dreaming as always of Edward and Bella, everything's awesome and seemingly well...a, it suddenly changes, from the forest flies a kite, I cry as it says that I've never owned Twilight.**

JPOV

I was in the forest, running. It seems to be the only thing I do nowadays. I was patrolling with Sam and Quil, but we weren't exactly talking. We were all pretty tired, we never seemed to get enough sleep. And besides, I was busy thinking about Bella.

It had been - I don't know how long - since I saw her. Ever since her little... almost-suicide I felt like I had to stay near her, to protect her. But that was impossible right now. Until Victoria was out of the picture, we couldn't slow down. And still, even if I was by her side I wouldn't be able to protect her from herself. But she had promised not to do something like that again. I was really trying to trust her, but I couldn't be absolutely sure anymore.

I had been planning on visiting her at the hospital, but it didn't happen. Bella had been discharged later that afternoon and gone home. I couldn't understand how her doctors thought, you can't just discharge someone who has tried to commit suicide after one day. She could easily do it again, the doctors didn't know what she could do if she's alone. It scared me, and I wished that I could go see her soon.

But that wouldn't be possible for a while. After I had run for approximately 8 hours, I had been on my way home to sleep. God knows we didn't sleep enough, but we had to push ourselves to the limit. Otherwise there wouldn't be an end to all of this.

When I got home I threw myself in the sofa, and as soon as I closed my eyes the phone rang. So typical. I had gotten up from the couch, cursing it's existence as I did so, and picked it up.

"What?"I asked, sounding more angry than I meant to. I completely backtracked as I heard who had called.

"Jeez, Jake, who shoved a fork up your-" I cut her of.

"Bella!" I exclaimed. "How are you feeling?" I smiled a huge smile. I was so happy to hear her voice.

"Fine now, my throat doesn't hurt anymore." I could hear her smile through the phone.

"That's good... So, what's up?" I asked.

"Yeah... well, I kinda wanted to tell you something, but I don't want you to get mad, okay?" Oh, nothing good had ever followed after those words. I braced myself.

"What, Bella?" I asked, a bit impatient. She hesitated.

"It's just that..." she said slowly and then blurted out the rest, making it hard to hear. At least for a normal person, "My therapy group is going to travel together to, like, get to know each other as a team or something, and I want to go with them. I met a... friend there, and I think it'll be fun. It's okay with you, right?" That was a lot of information to take in at once.

"How long will you be gone?"

"It's just for two days and then we'll be back."

"Do you have, like, people there? To take care of you?" I very nearly said "sane people", but that would definitely offend her.

"Yeah, a couple of doctors will come with us, and relatives to the... patients can volunteer to come."

"Where are you going then?"

"Apparently you don't know until your at the airport. Somewhere in Europe, though, I just found out."

"Europe?!" I shouted, unable to stop myself, "That's a whole other continent!"

"Yeah, Jake. I'm aware of that." she said teasingly.

"But... It's so far away!" My heart sank. I had just gotten her back, and now she was leaving me again. She seemed to guess my thoughts.

"Don't worry Jake, It's only for two days. I'll be back. Promise." Yeah, it wasn't exactly like she was the most trustworthy person out there. But this was Bella. If I didn't trust her, who would I trust?

"I... I don't know Bella, it's-"

"Listen Jake," her voice changed to sound determined, "I think I need this trip. I have to be able to have a life, and since I'm pretty much going to need therapy for the rest of my life, I might as well get to know the people I'm gonna be hanging with." She sounded tired when she said it. I had to admit, it did make some sense when she put it like that. I sighed.

"Sure sure, if you think it'll help. I'll be here waiting for you when you're back though, okay?"

"I was counting on that, Jake," Once again, you could hear her smile on the other end, "I'll miss you," she said, sounding sad.

"Yeah," I said, trying to cover up my sudden sadness, "I'll miss you too." There was a moment of silence before Bella started to speak again, the sadness in her voice momentarily gone.

"By the way, what the heck happened to my door? It's not even on its hinges anymore!" Her voice had a hard yet slightly amused edge to it.

Crap. I had forgotten about that. "I did that," I started apologetically, "when you where... _asleep. _I'm sorry, I meant to replace it but I guess it slipped my mind. But I can get you a new one while you're away, if you want."

"Yeah, that would be great," she said, sounding gratefully, "key's under the-"

"Under the eave, I know," I filled her in. "You should really hide your key somewhere safer. I mean, anyone could just go in there-" She interrupted me this time.

"You know, Jake, I like to have the key there, and it's gonna stay there, okay?"

I just murmured something unintelligible and we both fell silent. After a few seconds, Bella spoke.

"Well, I have an early flight to catch. It leaves at seven so I'll be up before dawn. Can't say I'm looking forward to it. But I'll sleep on the plane, it'll be fine. But I have to go and pack now, or else I wont have any time for sleep at all. I'll call you as soon as I land to fill you in on where we are."

"Okay, sounds good. Talk to you later, then."

"Yeah. Bye, Jake."

"Bye." We hung up.

I sighed as I put the phone back in its holder and went back and lay down in the sofa. She was going to leave again, and there was nothing I could do about it.

I couldn't scream at her, that would probably just make her sad and leave anyway.

I can't beg because that would make her unhappy, so the only thing I could do without hurting her in any way was to agree with her decision. Which I really didn't.

She didn't even know where she was going, how stupid is that? Who comes up with things like that. It doesn't make any sense what so ever.

But I knew that it wasn't really that that bothered me. I just wanted her to be here, with me.

So, since then I had figured that the best way to make the days pass was to get busy. This would be a good opportunity for me to patrol, if I knew she was safe I could concentrate more on Victoria. _Yeah_, I decided, _this would work out. This would be a good opportunity_. And with that thought I had drifted of to sleep.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

After sleeping some 6 hours I had gotten up for more guard duty. And that's what I had been doing up until now. First I had been running with Paul and Jared and after a few hours they had been replaced by Quil and Sam. It didn't really matter to me, I was way to occupied with my own thoughts to worry about someone else's.

I had been trying to figure out when she was leaving with help from the sun. I was trying to assess where the sun would be on the sky when it was 7. I had gotten a fair idea, and then spent the rest of the morning dreading when the sun would actually reach the right spot in the sky, and once it had, I felt like I never should have let her go.

It's was weird, once I knew for certain that it was to late to stop her from getting on the plane, I felt oddly relieved, yet sickeningly worried.

It was like the responsibility I had with her lifted a little bit. Right now, there was nothing I could do for her and I could instead concentrate completely on finding Victoria. Yet, without her here I felt like something was missing. And just because I _couldn't_ protect her anymore it just increased my worry.

You'd think that both of the indescribable emotions would cancel each other out, but they both held their ground, causing a constant battle to take place in my head. It was really confusing.

But I tried hard not to dwell on that. When she got back, I would do everything I could to make her happy, to make her see that she has things to live for right her, under her nose.

I sighed as I continued on my steady jog, checking how the others were doing. They were also quiet, in response to my brooding or not, I wasn't sure. I was about to make an effort to be social and ask the others for any news, when Sam's head suddenly snapped up. Both Quil and I felt the scent through Sam's mind, and my face scrunched up in response.

I knew that smell. It was sweet, sickeningly so, and I could even feel the burn in my nose through Sam's mind. Ugh. _Leeches_.

I had been momentarily dazed by the the awful stench, and was brutally snapped out of it by Sam. Both he and Quil had already started to run as fast as they could.

_Jacob! Hurry up, we will need you! _

I immediately started to run towards where Sam was headed, it wouldn't take long until I caught up with them. The trees were just a blur as I pushed my legs to run faster.

_Who is it? _I asked, it wasn't a scent we recognized. In a strange way it made me both disappointed and a bit worried. The new scent meant that it wasn't Victoria, which in a way would be safe since we knew what to expect from her. Another vampire wasn't as... easy. We couldn't know it's intentions. Maybe it was meant as a distraction. As soon as I thought it Sam spoke again.

_Quil, you have to stay, alert the others. We can't leave the area unguarded. _I saw Quil skid to a stop and turn around. Before he started to run back to La Push again he let out a loud howl. Maybe not very inconspicuous, but it would do the job. The others would hear.

I had almost caught up with Sam when we both felt the other scent. There were two of them. That would even out the odds. We had run for about a minute but it felt like much longer. We were now closer to Olympia then to Forks, and I pushed my legs faster, getting slightly impatient. Sam was worried, thinking up different reasons to why they were here.

More voices suddenly filled our minds as the rest of the pack phased.

_What the hell is going on? _They all caught on to our seriousness and concentration, watching the forest whoosh past us in a blur. Sam and I both kept silent, leaving the explanation to Quil.

I had caught up with Sam and raced past him, just wanting to reach the bloodsuckers and do what we do best so that I could get back to Forks. Somehow, being near Forks made it feel like I was closer to Bella.

I shook those thoughts off, I couldn't afford to be distracted now. The scents were getting stronger, mixing together until I couldn't separate them, it was all just an icy sweetness. Sam wasn't far behind me, I could see myself through his eyes, and he followed me as the scent led us into a small clearing. We both dug our claws into the ground as we skidded to a stop. The sight before us was shocking.

In the clearing was not only the two leeches whose scents we had followed, but seven others. Seven way too familiar leeches. While I was busy taking in the scene, Sam was thorn between two things, planning and worrying. We could both still hear the rest of the pack shouting and speaking, but we ignored them.

_Make them stay or come here? _Sam asked himself, undecided, thinking of the pack. He thought of the odds. If we alone would fight, we wouldn't make it. If the others would come to help us, we probably wouldn't make it either. So, the question was, whether to sacrifice the whole pack or just me and Sam. Sam made up his mind and spoke with the authority of the Alpha.

_Stay where you are, do not follow us. Please,_ he added with a soft edge.

All of this couldn't have taken more than a few seconds. I was surprised that the bloodsuckers hadn't launched for us yet. I growled at them and Sam did the same. They hadn't even turned to look at us. They just stood there, the _Cullen's_ – I couldn't help but sneer the name - facing the two strangers.

I had expected an immediate attack, when it hadn't come I was unsure of what to do. One of the leeches raised his hand, palm facing us in a cautioning gesture, but didn't look away from the two unknown vampires as he spoke.

"Sam, Jacob, don't do anything yet," I was a bit shocked to how he knew our names, when I zeroed in on him and recognized him. _Edward_.

I was instantly furious, I no longer cared that we were two against nine vampires, all I wanted was to launch myself at him and rip him apart. _Slowly._ I wanted him to suffer like Bella had. I wanted him dead.

I watched him flinch at my thoughts and was instantly filled with a kind of sadistic happiness at his pain. I felt a growl building in my chest. But before I could do anything else I was distracted by one of the two other bloodsuckers.

He had turned to me, a smirk on his face. He was big and muscular and had olive toned skin. His hair was short and black and his eyes were burgundy. He seemed arrogant enough to turn his back on the Cullen's, like they posed no threat to him. If he wasn't scared of the Cullen's, then he sure would learn to fear the wolves.

**A/N Yeah, I know what you're thinking. _That was a really weird place to end the chapter._ But you know what? It had to be done. Brace yourselves for an exciting EPOV chapter next time! Maybe I shouldn't get your hopes up. Instead of that, brace yourselves for an awful chapter next time! Moving on.**

**I had something important to tell you! Well, not really important, but more important than the usual stuff I write here. I shouldn't forget things. While I think about that:**

**I've gotten a Victoria-fur! No it's not a real fur, I would never do that, but you see, me and my friend are planning to do some kind of Twilight spoof, and the fur fitted in. And, I didn't spend any money on it. I _stole _it. No, I'm kidding! I traded it for an ugly skirt. It was in a kind of trade-store. Very recycle...y.**

**Oh yeah! Not sure if this was the thing that I forgot, but we'll find out sometime. We reached our goal to get 17 reviews! Woho! I get ridiculously happy. Now, not sure if I'm pushing my luck here (I probably am) but should we try to reach... 20 (20!!) reviews? That's so many reviews! Well, technically it's just three more to go but... it's 20. It's cool! Don't mock me. **

**Now I'll probably go to bed. It's 02:23 a.m. here, but I'm not tired. My neck hurts, though. Yeah. It's awesome. Hope you liked the chapter, and if you've read this whole long A/N, I admire you. Good work. **

**Love to you all, have a great life until I write again!**

**~Anna**


	9. Never stop, part 1

**I suck. I truly do. I am so sorry for not updating in, I don't know how many weeks. Though all of this wasn't my fault, as usual I'll explain at the bottom. And this is a two-piece chapter, mainly because I thought the whole thing was way to long. Ha, and I'm totally ignoring my growing pile of homework so I can do this instead. I hope you... think that the chapter is okay! (Oh! And I've neatly dodged explaining where the Cullens actually were, but let's just say that it's far away. Somewhere in Europe. Faaar away.)  
**

**Disclaimer: Reading Twilight in a room that's dimly lit, I fell from my chair when I saw that I don't own it.  
**

EPOV

We were on a plane, and had been for several hours now. With a combination of trying to calm myself by breathing slowly in and out, and the emotional help from Jasper, I was able to stay quietly in my seat.

I wanted nothing more than to be on the ground, running, fighting to get to Bella. I wanted to feel like I was really doing _something_. Sitting calmly in a plane wasn't really enough to cover my will to be productive. I wanted to show her, my family, everyone, no matter how insignificant the gesture, that I was going to fight for her, show her that I couldn't be without her. Show her that I loved her.

But it wasn't time for that, now was the time to sit on a plane and stop thinking about how many hours there still was left, doing nothing at all. Even though I knew that we were on this plane because it was much faster than running, it still bothered me. You'd think that the least I would be allowed to do was pace back and forth in the hallways, but that wasn't an option. The pace I wanted to keep was hardly appropriate for human eyes.

I groaned silently, something I seemed to be doing often lately. I closed my eyes and sank deeper into my seat in the middle of Jasper and Esme, trying to escape into my head, shut the normal world out.

Of course there wouldn't be any of that, with the constant flow of voices who did not belong to me filled my mind. I frowned in irritation and tried to tune them out. When that didn't work I decided to listen in on my family's thoughts, as a distraction. I can't say I was surprised, they were mostly thinking of their significant other. I sighed as I was trying hard not to do the same thing.

_...unhappy without her. But on the other hand she is the one who wanted us to get back to Forks in the first place. Maybe she knows something about Bella that she hasn't shared. It wouldn't be my place to ask, if she wants to tell us she... _Jasper thought, worrying about Alice's reaction if Bella proved to be dead. I'm sure he could feel my sudden grief as he thought about Bella and immediately stopped thinking about it.

I moved on to Esme. Her tone was anxious. _...has to be all right, she has too. I can't bear it if I'm going to lose both of them... _I hurried to skip out of that one and turned my mind to Emmett, begging for some of his normal, shallow thoughts. Of course I couldn't be that lucky.

_...want things to be as they were. I hope that things will be, now that we're going back. Then maybe people will start being happy again... _He mentally sighed_._

I groaned. When I for once craved normalcy, reassurance, above all else, there was none to be found. Carlisle was also worrying about me and Bella, so was Alice, and the normal exception, Rosalie. She was just her old angry self.

I went back to trying not to think about all the different possibilities that would be facing us in Forks, and tried my best to concentrate on insignificant things. That wasn't exactly the easiest thing when constantly hearing the others think about my love's possible death.

I leaned forward and rested my forehead on the seat in front of me. Like I had many times in my existence I wished I wasn't able to read minds. I wished I didn't have to hear my family thinking of the exact thing I was trying to keep locked away in my mind.

I furrowed my eyebrows in concentration as I tried to stay in my mind and in my mind only, while at the same time trying my hardest not to think of the impossible hours I was still going to be stuck on this plane.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I snapped out of my sleep-like state as the plane started to descend. I was instantly eager again, but at the same time very anxious, scared, sad and all other awful emotions you could possibly feel. But eagerness was one of the more prominent ones as I was now closer to Bella than I've been in half a year.

With that eagerness there was also the familiar flow of thoughts that had constantly occupied my mind since Alice's vision. That she might be dead. That she might be alive. How I would get away from my family and be able to go to Italy in case she really was dead. If she would take me back if she was alive. If she had moved on to another guy. If she had killed herself and all hope was already lost.

And for some reason I couldn't stop repeating these thoughts over and over. I guessed that the only way to stop the thoughts was to get to Forks and discover if she was dead or alive. Once that was done I could settle on one train of the constantly flowing thoughts. But until then, there wasn't much I could do.

When the plane finally hit the ground it was with a feeling of both utter frustration and uncontrollable excitement. We were so close yet so far away, because there was no way that we were going to get away from this airport unless we acted human, and that would slow us down a lot.

Jasper, who sat beside me, put his hand on my arm. To everyone watching it would just be a normal reassuring gesture, but since it was Jasper it was much more. His reassurance consisted of a wave of calm, magnified by our skin contact. I glanced gratefully at him. I was usually opposed to his manipulation of emotions, but now I welcomed it. Without it, I'm not sure I would've stayed in my seat.

After an infuriatingly long time, we managed to step out of the airport. For a moment we just stood there on the sidewalk, contemplating which was the best way to travel.

_So... How are we doing this?_ Emmett thought. None of us had spoken in a while, I guessed we were to tense to talk now that we'd reached our destination. I decided to break the silence so that we could make a decision. But I had to keep it brief, when I was this close to Bella, there was no way that I was going to stall.

"How do you think we should get to Forks?" I asked, my words sounding rushed as I spoke faster and lower for any human to hear. Alice thought about her resent vision, the one which ended up with us being thrown out of a car. _Not in a car, _she thought.

"We could run?" Jasper said, sounding unsure. I thought about that for a moment. I was sure that no matter what way we chose to travel, our followers would find a way to stop us. And to be honest, I was a little curious to who they were and what they wanted. But this was not the time, to find Bella was my priority at this point.

But if we had to choose between running and driving, running would be faster, presuming that we didn't get seen or... delayed along the way. I thought that it was really inconvenient that whoever it was that planned to stop us had chosen this exact time to do it. I internally sighed.

"I think that we should run," I said, still talking to low for human ears. Alice's eyes glazed over as she checked the future for possible outcomes. The others were, like me, looking at Alice for her expert opinion. After a second she found what she had been looking for.

In her vision, we were running through the forest. The trees were just a blur as we rushed past them. When we reached a small clearing we stopped, because in that clearing two figures were waiting for us. And then, as abruptly as the vision of Bella had ended, so did this one. Once again, we hadn't been able to make out who they were, but we were still able to notice some things. They were both male, as seen by their bulky body shape, and of course vampires.

Alice's thoughts were clouded by doubt, questioning why her visions suddenly seemed flawed, but we didn't have time for that. I hurried to share the vision with my family.

"So, if we run we'll meet people. We don't know what they want but as far as we could tell," I shot a worried glance at Alice, "they didn't seem too hostile," I said, trying to speed things up.

"That seems better than the other vision..." Carlisle pondered, "At least this time you're not getting thrown out of a car."

"Exactly. So, are we ready to go?" I asked urgently, halfway ready to start running.

"We're ready to leave," Esme said with poorly disguised worry in her tone. She turned to me before looking at the rest of the family, "Please be careful." She then continued with a serious voice, "And make sure nobody sees you."

Emmett, the constant optimist, offered a nonchalant half-smile. "Let's go then," he said, winking at me.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

As soon as we had reached the forest, I took of. I was faster than the rest of my family, and in this second I was very grateful for it. I felt thorn, on one side I had Bella. I was merely minutes away from her, from learning her fate, yet there was something, another responsibility that held me back from running away completely. My family.

Because, no matter what, there was still a potential threat positioned somewhere between us and Bella, and there was no way that we would know why they were there, if they had somehow gotten to Bella or if they were just nomads, for some reason wishing to speak to us. For all we knew, they could even be friends of ours. But keeping the vision of our car hitting that someone, I highly doubted that.

There was just no way of knowing for sure, and because of that I kept myself as close to my family as I could while still urging to move faster.

After running for a few minutes, something changed. We could now smell the two vampires. They were pretty far away, but I couldn't help but think that it was possible that they simply marked this place so that we would follow. No matter the reason, that was what we were going to do.

I slowed down until my family were right behind me. No matter what was awaiting, I wanted us to meet it together. It was only a short moment later than the second realization hit me. I could _hear _them.

..._isn't working. Should get back to the others, it's more likely for them to drive. But... they said they could go either way. I'll give it a little while longer and then... _one of them thought. He was pacing back and forth, not exactly the patient type. Through his eyes I got a look at the other one. It was another man. He had wavy black hair that reached his shoulders and his eyes were a dark shade of red. Definitely not a friend of ours. He smiled.

_...not as big a challenge as I had expected. Certainly makes it easier when we can just wait for them to come to us... Oh, heads up, _he thought and turned to the other one. We were closer to them now and could hear them moving.

"They're here," the second one of them said and they both turned to face us as we burst through the trees.

**A/N Let's get to it: I'm sorrrrrry! Please don't hate me. Or feel free to do that, if you want to. But it was actually not my fault! Entirely... I'll make a long story short: A couple of weeks ago I started a new school. For some reason my school then changed my e-mail, and as you know you need an e-mail address to log in to Fanfic. Miraculously I was actually able to log in, but that's where it ended. I could read stories, but I couldn't review or anything like that, and most importantly: I couldn't upload any chapters! Finally I got my e-mail fixed, so I'm happy :D**

**Oh, and I remember saying that this would be an exciting chapter. Sorry about that. But like I said, this chapter comes in two parts, because it ended up being ten pages long and I, personally, can't concentrate that long. So I cut it in half. Hope it works out.**

**I'm warm. I just had some tea, yum. And that's as much I'll try to get back to my usual random ramblings. I can't now, I feel like I've disappointed you too much. Sorry, again! **

**Now I'm going to go and enjoy my homework-free evening. That will last for about 45 more minutes, 'cause I have to go to bed. I'm really tired! Anyway... Oh, and I won't set anymore review-goals. At least I don't think I will. I feel really mean, because in a way I'm doing what I said I wouldn't, which is... not really _making_ you review but... almost. Yeah. Anyway, it's mean. **

**Gah! I have to stop now! I hope you like the chapter and I'll update soon!**

**Love, **

**~Anna**


	10. Never stop, part 2

**Hey people! This was a fun chapter to write. Though it took forever. I hope you like it as much as I do, though I haven't exactly proof-read it as much as I usually do, so don't hate me for the mistakes you find! Enough talking, enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: My cats are cute, you should see them, sadly enough, I'm not Stephenie M. (Wow, new rhyme!)**

EPOV

_We were closer to them now and could hear them moving. _

"_They're here," the second one of them said and they both turned to face us as we burst through the trees._

We stopped at the edge of the forest, not wanting to get too close. I felt my family tense around me, ready to crouch and charge at them if necessary. Jasper immediately analyzed their moods, and then continued to assess their possible strengths and weaknesses if it would turn into a fight. Meanwhile, I was looking at the strangers. I now got a look at the first vampire.

He was big, about the same size as Emmett. He had dark hair, cropped short, and his eyes were a vivid red. He noticed me watching and smirked. My eyes narrowed. The other one of them spoke.

"I understand you wonder why we're here. But lets start from the beginning. My name is Demetri. This," he gestured towards his friend, "is Felix. We bring a message from Aro. I trust you've heard of him and his family?"

_Of course,_ I thought sourly, Carlisle's memories filling my mind, memories of the time he spent in Volterra. Images of Aro and his brothers flashed before my eyes, along with their guard. They were few at the time, but considering how much time had passed since we had any contact with them, and not to mention the two newcomers, it seemed to have expanded slightly.

"Yes," I answered curtly, not caring to sound polite. They both ignored my slight hostility and Demetri continued softly.

"That's good. Now, our job here is perhaps a bit of a..." Demetri's voice suddenly sounded far away as other voices, voices I faintly recognized, made their way into my head. My head snapped up and I quickly searched the surrounding forest.

There was a turmoil of voices, though I was sure that only two of them were actually running towards us. Once again it annoyed me that everything had to happen when I didn't have time for them. I urged to find Bella, but was also forced to stay focused of the two vampires in the clearing with us and now also on whoever were running towards us. I did not need this right now.

I concentrated on their minds for a second, to try to understand who they were and what they wanted.

_...can't be back. It wouldn't make sense if they were. And I don't recognize the scents... _I recognized the voice, it was Sam, a member of the Quileute tribe.

A few years back we were introduced to him, when we learned that he had inherited the mutation that allowed his ancestors to transform into a giant wolves. The same mutation that his grandfather had had, which had skipped one generation. We had thought that the mutation had died with the last three of the wolf, but it seemed that we had been wrong.

And now it seemed that the mutation had spread within the tribe. Through Sam's eyes I saw another wolf, and in his mind I heard several more. The voice running in front of Sam belonged to one Jacob Black. We had had contact with his father, but the last time I had been near Jacob he hadn't even believed in the tribe's myths, so I was surprised by his presence. Not to mention the at least four others who were interlinked through his mind. It was confusing.

This new discovery couldn't have taken more than a couple of seconds.

My family had noticed my sudden lack of concentration. I turned back to face Felix and Demetri and out of the corner of my eye saw Emmett raise his eyebrows questioningly at me. I tried to let him know that it was okay by shrugging, but I wasn't sure I got the message through. Anyway, the wolves would soon be close enough for them to hear.

My lapse in attention didn't seem to have passed unnoticed by Felix and Demetri either, Demetri looked suspiciously at me while Felix just looked curious and slightly amused. Felix studied me closely.

_Would be easier if we just take them out, one by one._ He sized us up. _Hm... I think I would start with the leader. He doesn't look like a fighter, yet I'm sure his death would cause a bit of a craze._ He smiled at the thought.

I growled fiercely at him, which caused my family to tense and slip into crouches, ready to strike. Of course, the wolves chose that exact moment to burst through the trees.

They came out from our left, so that they were in the middle of the groups already in the clearing. They both skidded a few feet before steadying and facing us, prepared to lunge. This was not what we needed right now.

I put out my palm toward them, to caution them. We needed more information before anything else.

"Sam, Jacob, don't do anything yet," I said, struggling to keep my voice even. I lowered my arm as I thought. They didn't know what was going on. And they didn't know what they were up against. And, I thought, with a feeling of doubt, I wasn't sure which side they were on.

Jacob suddenly recognized me, which immediately made him think of Bella. He thought that he would make me feel the same pain that she had felt. That he wanted me dead. I cringed violently, while his words repeated themselves in my head.

He wanted me to suffer like Bella had. He wanted to kill me, for me to be dead... because that must be what Bella was. I froze, unable to comprehend the information.

Was this my last assurance? Was this the message I had been looking for? It suddenly felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest, making it physically hurt. Meanwhile, Felix had turned sideways to face the wolves.

I heard Jacob think that he was going to attack Felix, but I knew that would lead to a big fight right here, and that would not be good. A small part of me urged to stop them, but I couldn't will my locked muscles to move. I couldn't find the will to do anything. Thankfully Alice came to my rescue.

"Stop it!" she called firmly. That didn't exactly make the wolves and the vampire relax, but at least they paused for a moment in their attack. She hurried over to stand between them, closely followed by Jasper. She looked very stern, an unusual emotion on her face. Jasper stood closely behind her, trying to shield her from both sides.

"This is not the time for useless fighting. We have business elsewhere, and have to hurry," she said, turning towards Felix and Demetri. "If you don't mind, we'll be off." She smiled politely at them, though the rest of her features stayed tense.

Demetri turned to face her. "I'm sorry, but I'm afraid that's not possible." She narrowed her eyes slightly before answering.

"I'm sure this can wait a few hours. Like I said, we have a very pressing matter to attend to."

Little did she know that we were too late. That apparently we had already failed. Demetri was getting irritated.

"Just _listen. _It will not take long, I promise you." The wolves and Felix were still glaring at each other, unwilling to relax their stances . I didn't know what I wanted anymore, I didn't care. I didn't have enough feelings to care. Meanwhile, Carlisle had nodded in response to Demetri's request, allowing him to continue.

"As I assume most of you have understood, we are members of the Volturi guard. Our orders are what have led us here today, and at this moment I consider our quest fulfilled. Though this fact might be much to your dismay, what's done is already done." He was met by confused gazes from my family, but as always due to my gift, I was one step ahead of them. During his speech he had thought Bella's name. That had immediately made me pay close attention to him, though trying to conceal it as best as I could.

Along with Bella's name was a a face, one that I didn't recognize. It was the face of another vampire, a young girl. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. Did they have something in common? I didn't understand. I interrupted Demetri as he was about to continue.

"Who is she? The young girl. And what does she have to do with Bella?" It wasn't necessary for him to answer, as soon as I voiced the question his thoughts answered me.

_Jane. How does he know about her? _The girl's face once again filled his mind. _They couldn't have been caught. No, surely we would have been informed if that was the case. If everything has gone according to plan, she and the girl should be on a plane right now..._

Once again I felt that familiar pang of hope. It wouldn't surprise me if these shifting emotions would ultimately be the death of me. "Where to? Where are they going?" I asked intensely, needing an answer.

Demetri just looked confused and doubtful as he considered that I would be able to read minds. I guessed that they didn't know about that. I grew frustrated when he didn't answer my question, but just as I was going to ask again, Felix caught my attention.

He had finally turned away from the wolves, and all three of them were apparently listening in on our conversation. He seemed to have caught on to the subject, even though it was a one-way conversation. He smiled viciously at me. "Oh, I think you know _exactly_ where she's going."

_Italy_, my family's thoughts told me, unnecessary though it was.

At first, the only thing I could grasp was that Bella wasn't dead.

For a moment I was overwhelmed with relief. My Bella was alive! I hadn't lost my last opportunity to tell her how much she meant to me, there was hope!

And then Felix's words sunk in. Yes, she was alive. And was currently on a plane to Volterra accompanied by at least one other vampire. Oh _God._

For what seemed like the hundredth time, my world crumbled. The expression "emotional roller coaster" had never been so literal. I was filled with despair as I became overwhelmed by the feeling that I was never meant to reach Bella. That I was somehow messing with faith by even _trying_ to get to her. Why did this have to happen?

_Oh, help me. _I thought, fearing to drown in the hopelessness I felt.

Thankfully, Jasper finally seemed to catch on to my... less-than-happy mood and came to my rescue. He calmed me with his peculiar gift, and in doing so pushed away most of my despair. It helped me get back to my senses, enabling me to think, to plan. This emotional exchange had passed unnoticed, and I felt grateful, hoping that Jasper would understand that way of thanking him.

Felix was watching me, expecting some reaction to his words. He was hoping for a fight, that I would attack him. I internally scoffed. Did he think that I would waste time on him? He couldn't be more wrong.

My family was watching us with different expressions on their faces. Emmett and Esme just continued to look confused, Rosalie's eyes where whipping from face to face, unsure of what to think. Carlisle and Jasper had caught on to the situation and where also unsure, but for different reasons.

They didn't know if we should attack them, run away from them or just stay where we were. They didn't know what way would be best to reach get away. And Alice, she knew, of course. Though her visions were fuzzy and almost unintelligible, she could still make out the Volturi family, waiting to greet Bella.

Alice was frustrated, trying to search the future while also trying to think of a plan to leave. She was coming up short.

The rest of them where waiting for me to make a decision, a decision I wasn't ready to make just yet. What I most of all wanted was to be able to talk to my family in peace. Though, sure that that wouldn't happen anytime soon, I had to make the most out of what had been given to me.

_And the wolves, _I pondered. I had almost forgotten about them in my stress. But first thing's first: We had to get past Demetri and Felix.

As I saw it, there were three possibilities. First option was that we talk to them and convince them to let us go. Second, that we fight them, which would take unnecessary time, though it would be a sure way to get past them. Or third, we could run from them and hope that they didn't catch up to one of us. If that would happen, a fight would be inevitable.

If I had time to sigh, I would. As it was now I concentrated on my decision, hoping that at least Alice would get in on my plan. Otherwise this was probably not going to work.

I watched her eyes glaze over for a short moment and then she was back to normal. She glanced in my direction as she agreed to my plan in her thoughts.

I had decided to first try out option number one, and if that didn't work proceed to option number three. I acted accordingly.

"As you might understand we wish to be on our way now. I assume you don't mind?" I tried to sound as polite as possible, I didn't want them to know how utterly scared and eager I was to get me and my family out of here. I addressed Demetri as he seemed to be the more reasonable of the two. He looked at me like he wanted the same thing.

"I can't see why not, now that we've done what we came for. I'm sure you realize that we couldn't let a human stay alive knowing our secret. But that has all been taken care of now, so we too will be on our way. I hope that we will not meet again at similar circumstances, and that you'll have a nice day," He bowed his head slightly at us in farewell and turned his back at us to run into the forest. Felix shot a menacing look at the wolves and then hurried to run after Demetri. Jacob growled lowly after him as he watched him disappear between the trees.

We stayed frozen until they were out of hearing range and then, at once, we all relaxed and turned to face each other. I felt like my mind was ready to burst with all of my hope and despair, and as my family hurried to think of a new plan I couldn't find it in me to join them. I merely watched and listened, letting them make the decisions.

Alice was watching me, seemingly understanding how I felt. She walked over to me and put her tiny arms around my waist. I reflexively put one arm around her and she leaned into my side.

_We'll get her back, Edward. I don't know how, but I know that we will get her back. _I sighed and looked down on her. She met my gaze.

_But if we don't get moving we wont have a chance. Are you ready? _I nodded at her. _ Let's go, _she thought. She ran into the forest, and before I had time to think we were all running after her.

**A/N Hi again! My back hurts, and I'm going to bed. I have to get up at eight tomorrow to go to a book fair (awesome). **

**Anyway, I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry for taking so long to update, but also that my new school is taking up a lot of my time right now, so I won't be able to update sooner right now. (Two "right now"s in one sentence, YES! Sorry for the interruption) I'll try my best, as usual, but for now I think it will take about 1-2 weeks. Wow, that sounds horrible. But it's better to keep you hopes down, as weird as that might sound, then if I say that it'll take a week and then nothing happens. Does that even make sense? I don't know.**

**Ooh! I dreamed of reading an awesome fanfic! Though it wasn't as awesome when I woke up, but it had something to do with vampires, a bush, an escalator and wedding dresses. Totally makes sense, doesn't it?**

**Ow, my back really hurts now! I have to go to bed, I hope you're all well and I'll see you when I update again!**

**Air-hugs to you all,**

**~Anna**


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